Farrah's Mind

My story.

I started smoking and drinking when I was 14. I had no one to care what I did anymore. Except my mom. But she was always too busy for me. So I did whatever I wanted. With Will it was easier. But now I was alone. I don't know how I turned out like this. I used to be a good girl. Amazing grades, tons of friends, teachers pet. Everyone loved me because I was so sweet and kind. Then my heart started to blacken. Probably right after I went to Will's 13th birthday party and went to help his dad with bringing up the sodas. His dad really was a jerk. He used to always make comments about how I dressed. He gave me the creeps. Then at that party he raped me. I was screaming for help. Will rushed down and yelled at his dad. I was in tears screaming. I wanted to end my life right after that. But when I saw Will punch his dad unconscious and carry me out to our secret spot in the forest, I knew I couldn't leave him.

After the God awful experience I isolated myself. Started dressing darker. Ditched my friends. I only talked to Will, in our spot. In the woods. Him and I. Alone.

"I love you Farrah. Don't be too long. I will miss you. See you soon."

Those are the last words I got from Will before he blew out his brains. U spent months by myself on the edge of a cliff thinking about what he said. I would spend days there before someone found me. I never ate. I couldn't sleep. I just sat there. Tears dried to my face. Sticky like plastic glue. I wore his jacket. I never took it off. It was the only thing I had left of him. That and the locked locket he gave me freshman year of high school. He refused to ever give me the key. And now he never could.

I'm 16 now. Just turned this morning. Maybe as a birthday present to myself I can see him again. Be together forever. Maybe...just maybe...end it all, right now.