Pretty Is

Chapter 8

I knew it was out there. I don't know how,I just did. If I stayed awake long enough I could hear it howling. Sometimes I'd go up to the attic and see it staring up at me,as if to say soon. Normally I would have to inform dad,but I wasn't going to. Why would I? He probably already knew. And it was only here for me. Old memories crept into my head. The scratching. The growling.
There wasn't much I could do except move,but that wouldn't happen. It had my scent and it always made it's presence made. So when Khanisse begged me to be her plus one to some person named Jeremy's party, I immediately said no. It was at his cousin's cabin and I knew it would finally get me then.

Khanisse pouted and begged,offering different bribes until I gave in. She had a small thing for Jeremy and wanted to introduce us. Apparently, having only one friend was some type of blasphemy. I didn't think it that serious, but I would do it for her. They went to different schools but met at a sporting game. His team crushed hers and she was one of the only ones cheering,making him take notice. She invited me to the next game and I said I'd think about it.

It's crazy how I've only known her less than three weeks and we're already this close. Best Friends. That's what she says we are. She told me all about them and I admit only one other came close. I hadn't thought of him since dad told me about paying the family back. I'm still confused on what I'm doing, but I try not to think on it. I have freedom. And I use it to read. My pronunciations are still off, but I can spell most anything.

Khanisse calls me a walking dictionary. I think it's a compliment. Whenever she comes over I help with her homework. Renelle hates it. I think her and Khanisse had what they call a "falling out". When the other isn't around, they have such colorful words to say about the other.

 I was working on some math equations to prepare for my placement test, when Khanisse came bouncing into the room carrying multiple bags. She plopped on my bed beside me then sat up suddenly and tossed my math book into the corner.

"Ro you cannot seriously be doing work on a weekend." 

Technically I wasn't since it was still a weekday,but she wouldn't care about that so I let it go.
"No, not anymore." I looked at the book and considered getting up to get it, until my view was blocked by her. 

"Stop it Ro. Now I found the perfect outfit for the both of us. And...your sister isn't here right?" Khanisse got up and looked around the curtain separating our room then came and started taking clothes out of the bag. She put accessories beside them then gave me a look. I sighed before walking into the bathroom and taking a shower. I was almost finished when the curtain was pulled back, scaring me and allowing water to go up my nose. Khanisse handed me a razor and I frowned in confusion.

"It's time you trimmed the bush Ro and get your vag too." Khanisse crossed her arms and seemed to wait for something.

"I'm not allowed to use these. Mother said only loose women need to be hair free." I tried to hand the plastic back to her but she wouldn't take it.

"Fine, stay there." She left the room and I didn't think she would come back. I was rinsing the rest of the soap off my body when the curtains were pulled back again. This time they were pulled close soon after. 

"This is how you shave." Nisse showed me step by step how to take the hair off my body and that I should always condition my hair. I didn't know how to feel watching her, but I was a little captivated how easy she made it all seem. When she finished,I tried to follow her example. I was grateful when I seemed to pass her "test". We left the bathroom and headed into the room to get dressed.

Sitting at Renelle's vanity with my eyes closed,gave me another chance to think to myself, If I really wanted to go at all. Showing up with Nisse and her perfect body was sure to make me feel more insecure. She had everything I wanted. Flawless skin, straight white teeth,and most important of all,CONFIDENCE.

I sighed and made to get up. Immediately I felt a brief sharp pain in my thigh,courtesy of Nisse and her makeup brush.

"Girrllll,you almost messed up the masterpiece. Where you going so fast?"

 I opened my eyes and subconsciously rubbed my thigh,feeling the muscles jump repeatedly.

"I-I-I-I-I...I'm not s-s-s-ssure.....I can't go Nisse!"

I jumped,tripping slightly and ran over to the open bathroom yanking open the medicine cabinet and snatching up my pill bottles. My hands shook as I quickly crushed two pills and swallowed it with water from the sink. After awhile, I could feel it kicking in and breathed out in relief.

Khanisse came and stood bedside me looking spooked.

 "What was that Ro,like your eyes shifted and everything."

I silently handed her the pill bottle while I opened the other.

"So what does this mean exactly?" She looked at me confused ,after reading the label.

"It means that because of my past injuries,I have what's called acquired nystagmus on top of a slew of other problems."

"But what exactly caused it,was it my fault from popping you?"

"No I'm used to that,it was involuntary and can't be controlled. It's just with you wanting me to come with you to this party, and being so much more better looking than me,I'm just really stressed."

"If it really affects you like this then we can stay here and have another sleepover."

"N-n-n-No,we'll go. I have to get out of this house."

She sighed before hugging me tight. "If you're positive but we won't stay long and we can go to this 24 hour diner with the best milkshakes and burgers."

I smiled hugging her back but frowned over her shoulder. I hope this isn't a bad idea.