As someone with social anxiety having this said to me is heart shattering. When someone with anxiety is anxious or opening up about being anxious someone saying this is incorrect. Unless you have social anxiety you cannot know what it feels like - you can have an idea but you cannot know for definite. Also referring to it as 'being shy' makes them feel small and pathetic.
I was about to do a presentation in class and I was shaking - I really didn't want to get up in front of 30 students and speak for 3 minutes. My friend noticed the shaking and the fact I was hyperventilating and said 'I don't get why you're acting all shy, it's not like they're people you've never met before! And if you think I you're nervous just think how nervous I am - I don't even have a presentation prepared!'
This made me feel like I was just being selfish which made me even more panicky. I know she didn't mean any harm by it but it really hurt.
Also don't say things like 'I used to be shy as well but I got over it, you can too if you try.' That just makes the person with social anxiety feel stupid and like it's their fault.
