Surviving Us

Chapter 4

I crossed my arms over my chest and softly padded through the street. It was around noon, and I headed towards my favorite café.
     I sat with a cup of French Vanilla cappuccino, a little donut, and played over that mornings events. I didn't know what to think, really. I wanted out. He could be sweet, but one: I got too much attention from being with him, and two: his problems were getting worse and he was getting drunk whenever he felt like it. I didn't want to end up in the hospital or anything like that. I didn't really love him, did I? No. I had at a point, but I came to my senses.

So, with that, I made up my mind.

    I downed the donut in tiny little bites, and savored the warmth of the coffee cup against my hand, just as my phone rang.
"Hey mom," I said.
"Lace, today's visitation day." She replied. I sighed into my phone.
"Yeah, I know."
"He's changed, Lace, he really has. Give him a chance, please, you need a father, Lace." She begged.
"I'll go," I said in defeat.
"Thank you, Lace. I know he hurt you... It won't happen again." And she hung up.
     I rubbed my temples in discontentment and sighed again.
'I hate you I hate you I hate you', I whispered to myself. Angrily, I stood, pushing myself off the table. I crushed my cup with a little too much force, and coffee squeezed out over the edges and pooled into a little puddle on the floor. I rolled my eyes and growled, angrily wiping my hand on a napkin. I ignored my inner "good" feeling, and stormed out of the café. I couldn't help but be angry. After all, I was headed towards the prison where my dad was kept. It's a complicated story, I guess. He abused drugs and alcohol, and used my mother's money for it, got caught, and landed himself where he was. I couldn't express how much it hurt. I didn't want to be around him anymore than he wanted to see me, yet, I still went because my mother thought it was the best thing for me. No, Lacey. The best thing for you to do is focus on your schoolwork and get into college. I thought. Oh and to break up with Drake.. I couldn't mask the hurt much longer. At first, when he got drunk, he slept it off. I didn't really mind that, and it didn't become a problem, until he became verbally abusive, then physically.
     "Um, hello? Earth to Lacey!" A shrill voice called. The voice belonged to the fiery little red head I called one of my closest friends. Mandy waltzed over to me, slung her arm around my shoulder, and smiled triumphantly at having broken me out of my thoughts.
"Shouldn't you be getting it on with that smoking hot boyfriend of yours?" The edges of her lips tugged up into a smirk.
"Mandy, it's not like that." I said quickly. Thankfully, she had gotten my legs to stop moving, so that meant I had more time before I had to see my dad. Yay.
"That's not what the whole school thinks," she waggled her eyebrows at me as she pulled her butt onto the edge of a bench.
"Thanks but no thanks," I said, "I'm not just another girl he sleeps with."
"You're seriously not sleeping with him yet?" She asked.
"Yet?  Mandy, I don't want to sleep with him for chrissakes! He doesn't make every girl want to just drop down and go for it!" I hissed. She shook her head.
"Where are you going anyway?"
"Hell," I muttered under my breath.
"Sorry to break it to ya, baby cakes, but it looks like you're already there," she giggled, patting my back as Callan approached me. Mandy patted my back and skipped away. Callan didn't even bother starting conversation, he just gripped my wrist and pulled me behind him. He instructed me to get in his car, and I did, and we drove back to my house.
XXX

"Lacey! I told you it was a bad idea! I told you I could see it ending badly!" Callan paced back and forth in my room as I sat on the edge of my bed nervously biting my nails.
"Callan, I really care about him. You can't just tell me who I can and can't care about!" I raised my voice, yet it still, in no way, matched the intense roar and evident hurt and anger in Callan's.
"Haven't you learned anything from your father? That men who have a drinking problem don't just "sober" up? Sorry to tell you this, but they don't do that out of nowhere Lacey!" His fingers angrily raked through his hair. He shook his head.
"Have you ever really cared about someone? Ever? It really doesn't seem like you h-"
"Don't you dare get ready to tell me I don't understand! Of all people, I know what it's like to care about someone who's so... Stupid and wreckless! You're not the only one."
"Really? Cuz it sure doesn't seem like it!" My words stung me. I watched him as he began to shake, his entire body trembled. His jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into tight fists, so much so that his knuckles were white. He seemed to not know what to do next. He stood frozen in the center of my room, until he strode across towards me and cupped my lips with his own.
     I don't know what in me let myself kiss back, but I did. I could feel all the anger he held, transfer into the kiss as he ran his tongue along the edge of my lip. I granted him access to my tongue and mouth, and he explored gratefully. He pulled back. With his eyes closed, he said, "Don't tell me I don't understand. I do, Lace. I do."