Under His Roof

chapter fourteen

After many heartfelt goodbyes, Kimberly finally left Melitta's side and joined Julian on the taxi headed for the airport. The ride was quiet. Kimberly thinking about what had happened between her and Melitta, still in awe that she said the things she had, and Julian thinking about what had happened between himself and Kimberly, still in awe that he let himself sleep with an eighteen year old girl.

He could talk all he wanted, tell himself that Kimberly was different and that she wanted it as much as him, but that shouldn't have made a difference. She was eighteen and he was thirty-one. Thirty one.

It was men like this who disgusted him, men who would give up all of their morals for sex. He could try and persuade himself that he wasn't like that, that he wanted her for more than just sex, but the bottom line remained the same. He took her virginity and he couldn't give it back. She was leaving for her school in five days and then he would most likely forget about her – or try to as hard as he possibly could.

As he looked at her, sitting next to him in the taxi, her head hung low and her mind clearly somewhere else, he wondered what she was thinking about. Probably not him, at least not the way he was thinking about her.

I can't allow myself to do this, he thought, I can't continue whatever this is, it's not right.

He said the words to himself over and over, hoping that if he did it enough they would finally ring true but knowing deep down that it was hopeless. He was too selfish. He wanted her too much to stop himself, however wrong he knew it was and however much he hated himself for it, he couldn't stop.

They arrived at the airport just in time for their flight. Kimberly slept most of the way back, she wasn't used to flying in first class and as soon as she sat down in her seat, she found herself dozing off. By the time she woke up, the flight attendants were walking down the aisle, telling everybody to bring their seats back to an upright position. She rubbed her eyes, yawning as she fixed her seat. She looked over at Julian who sat across the aisle from her. He was engrossed in whatever book he was reading and didn't seem to notice her staring.

He had his legs half-crossed so that his left ankle was resting on his right knee, and he had a pen tucked behind his ear which he would pick up every few seconds to write down some notes in the border of the page. Kimberly took this opportunity to really stare at him, and she couldn't believe that just two nights ago, she had slept with this man. This beautiful man that she noticed multiple women ogling both in the airport and plane. This beautiful man that could make her whole body ache for him with just a few simple words.

This man...

His eyes flicked up and he locked eyes with Kimberly, making her jump slightly. The corners of his lips twitched upwards and he looked back to his book, the beginnings of a smirk playing at his lips.

Kimberly looked away, smiling as she tucked herself back into her blanket and flipped through the movie selection, trying to find something to keep her occupied even though they were about to descend.

She found her mind wandering to fantasies about the things that could happen once she was back under his roof. Now that they had had sex, she hoped he wasn't going to be as cautious with her. She knew he was being gentle back in the hotel – or at least trying his best to be. She could see it in his eyes, and as much as it scared her, she wanted nothing more for him to let loose and just take her with everything he had in him.

The plane started its descent and Kimberly sat up, putting back on her shoes. She saw Julian putting away his book from the corner of her eyes, but she didn't dare turn to him, she didn't want him to catch her staring a second time.