Unmasked

New Sensation

Kylo's P.O.V

My shoulders were aching ever so slightly, but I felt the experienced and strong hands slowly massaging them free of pain. I tilted my head to one side and sighed.

It felt nice to relax for once. For a few blissful moments, my mind was blank. I enjoyed the sensation of not having to care.

Of not having to fight, or fear for my life.

There was nothing.

"You're so tense. Loosen your shoulders a little." The whisper seemed to come from nowhere.

I let my muscles slowly relax more, and a small almost non-existent groan escaped me. All throughout my life, even my childhood, I had never felt this relaxed.

When I was young, I was expected to be mature, to listen, to obey. When I got older, I trained hard everyday, and some nights. I was not allowed to stop and think. To ponder over my wants and needs. To ponder my pain.

I wasn't even allowed to let my family take first place.

At such a young age, that was hard.

I had accepted that now, even demonstrated it. But still, it was unfair for them to not let a child care. To let a child love, or be loved.

I felt the tension melt away as soon as I let myself think the words I had held bottled up for so long. It was a concept I still disagreed with, but I never told anyone, for fear of being seen as weak, or being punished for having an opinion.

"It was never fair was it?" That whisper again.

I wanted to know where it came from, but something in the way it talks made it seem harmless. I decided against it.

"I have learnt that life will never be fair. No matter how hard we try to make it so." I muttered back to it.

There was no answer for a moment, but I could sense a presence digesting that information.

"I'm glad you understand that. Not many people have figured that out on their own." It's reply confused me.

The hands dug into a knot in my neck, relieving the pressure in my head. I couldn't help the moan of bliss. The pressure had been there for so long, years almost, that I had forgotten what it was like not to have it.

A tiny laugh, simply just a deeper breath released, came from behind me.

It had been so long since I'd laughed.

"Why don't you try now?" The whisper seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

It was concerning me, but it felt nice not to have to explain myself.

"I... I can't." I whispered back.

"Why not?"

"I don't... remember how. I don't know what used to make me laugh." I said.

"Aah."

I felt a distant memory being pushed forward. It hurt a little, but I didn't try to stop it. Curiosity made me want to understand how the whisperer was playing with my head.

***

It was hard to recall the whole memory at first.

I was young. I was on somebody's shoulders, and they were running me through a forest. They would jump over fallen logs and bumps in the old pathway, making me jolt about. I was laughing, and so was the person carrying me.

They stumbled slightly, but regained their balance.

There was a skip in the memory, same day, but further forward.

We were ponting at clouds, lying back on the cushiony grass.

"That ones a Stormtrooper!" I gasped to the person, pointing at a cloud to our right.

"But that over there! It looks like your Mama!" The person laughed.

We laughed together.

***

I was jolted away from the memory by the sound of my own voice. A deep sound from my throat, one of pure joy. A laugh.

It was small, but it was something. Something I remember from long ago.

But the laugh turned into a croak of realization.

That voice was familiar, the one in my memory. And only one person felt it unnecessary to call my mother by her name.

Han Solo. My father.

A strange sensation touched my cheek. A sensation long forgotten.

Tears.