Reviews of Wattpad's Relatively Unknown

SBgirl04's "Naruto: Sound Sisters" (Add-On)

Author's Note:
Once again, I have been putting this off for a very long time, even though I said I would write it by the end of last year. I think, altogether, I should just stop saying/promising/hinting at what time I'd like to post things because they really never turn out the way I had planned. All that aside, a bit of context. 

--- This is a rewrite of my previous review, which you likely already knew from the title, of SBgirl04's most well-known work on Wattpad, "Naruto: Sound Sisters." Why am I rewriting my review? Well, I don't think that I was honestly fair to the author. While I do stand by what I say, I had more to say that I didn't get to due to the course my writing was going the night I wrote it. Along with that, I think I went a little too far on the bias aspect...my apologies. Essentially, I'm unsatisfied with how everything turned out. So, redo! Kinda...

Introduction:
I haven't changed much in this section, but it should be included either way.

---As the name suggests, this piece primarily revolves around two sisters, Imao and Imai, along with their father and brother as they become adjusted to their new life in Konoha (Village Hidden in the Leaves). Their decision to come to Konoha is rather unclear though; if that is due to me not having read the entire story, then I wouldn't tell you anyways. If it is for some reason that would be obvious if I had seen all of Naruto: Shippuden then my apologies. The story itself is set 'Post-Shippuden,' the author actually mentions in her brief, yet concise, summary: "About a year after the 4th ninja war..." Here is her full summary:

"About a year after the 4th ninja war, an unknown family settled down in the outskirts of the beautiful village of Konoha. Although they try to live a normal life, they soon encounter a secret that will devastate the wonderful friends they make along the way."

A tad short, but that could be a good thing. I do think it could be lengthened with greater detail, though that is part of my personal preference and not what the author intended here. The tone of the summary suggests that the narrator is distanced from the characters in the story, and is instead an observer of all and not one. What I mean by that is that I wouldn't be surprised, based on this summary alone, to find the author using 3rd-Person perspective, and rarely write what any character is thinking because of this. in addition, they may not even focus solely on the two sisters, but instead shift from character to character. This...is not quite the case, as SBgirl04 does seem to write what a character is thinking at times (not a crime in writing, but we all have preferences when reading), as well as focus on the two sisters (they are the main characters, so no fault there) more than most. I feel that not only could the summary be extended, but revised to where the tone displays that the narrator and the audience will indeed come to know these characters on a personal level. This can be shown best by being more specific in description, rather than being intentionally vague about the characters and what may happen to them (mentioning of character's names came to mind).

---In the following section, I don't believe I will focus so much on writing style as the character dynamic. This is actually a very good opportunity. Looking back, this story is quite different from Kurama91's "A Place I Call Home," which was my last review. While Kurama91 had numerous errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation, she possessed an interesting story and displayed it well in what she was trying to do. SBgirl04's story was nearly flawless in the fundamentals of writing (one's writing can always be improved, but in general it was very good). Because of that, I'll be able to focus less on very minor grammatical errors (referring to those happened upon through experience and never clearly stated in any textbook), and instead take an in-depth look at the story itself.

At any rate, because I'm having to see the story differently, be prepared for a somewhat vague review for some that will be very different from the last.