You Have Me-- HARRY STLYES

H.P.O.V

Ch.53

H.P.O.V

"Do you have to look at him like that? I'm right here." Beth's laugh is sweet. Like syrup sweet. The kind of laugh you know you'll never get tired of hearing.

"Well if you were a bit nicer, Mushu might like you."

Personally I didn't get the big deal; it was just a fucking meat ball with legs.

Louis and Niall may have worked out their problems--or Beth might have (I still haven't asked what Louis and Beth talked about) but it looks like I may be the one who's going to end up killing the Irish twit, because he just had to buy Beth a puppy. He had to be thatperson.

"Well if he stopped sucking up all your attention--maybe I'd like him more."

"S'not his fault," Beth protest, Mushu pressed close to her face as she coos and kisses the cub look alike.

"He looks like a tiny bear, oh my goodness I can't take it."

"M'cute too," I pout, lips puffed out.

"Yes. But you don't look like a tiny bear. Oh my god, he's so chubby, I may die."

And the only reason I hadn't left the puppy out by the bushes, is because Beth stopped me the first time. The second time was almost a success and the third got me a harsh slap to the back of my head.

"Beth put the dog down and come here," Beth giggles quietly and sets the small animal down, pressing a kiss to it's fur. She takes my outstretched hand and straddles my lap, arms hanging by the sides of my neck, thighs separated by my middle. "I don't like sharing you. Your mine." She smiles, her fingers moving to the back of my head as she plays with my hair.

It's nice. It's relaxing, and it's so fucking amazing.

"Harry, Mushu is like our child now. I can't just not love him, because daddy is a jealous shit."

"Well, mummy belonged to daddy first." Beth hummed and nosed my cheek. She sighed and dropped her face between my neck and shoulder. "Did you have a good day?"

"It was lovely," Beth says dreamily, absentmindedly toying with my hair. "It was a very happy birthday. My favorite birthday that I've ever had--well, that I remember."

"Do you think you'll ever get your memory back?" Beth's shoulders shrug, as she lifts her head and connects our eyes. She looks conflicted as she bites her bottom lip.

"S'not that I don't want to get my memory back. I'm afraid of what it'll be like if I do." Beth is afraid. I know she is as she drops her gaze and sighs. Beth has many signs that she's uncomfortable. The biggest and most obvious one is when she refuses to make eye contact.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed of, baby. I feel the same." I admit softly. Beth's head snaps up and her eyes search mine.

"You do?"

"Yeah," I mumble. "I remember everything, and sometimes I want to find a way to kick my own head. Other times I just want to hold you and kiss you, and remind you; I never meant anything. I almost do, sometimes, but then I remember that you dont." Even now as I'm speaking about it, I just want to grab a vase and smash it over my head, because Beth is here and I don't deserve her. I will never deserve her.

"If I ever do remember," that may be one of my biggest fears, "it won't change anything." Beth promises, scratching my scalp.

"Don't promise me anything, darling. Not until we cross that bridge."

"Is it that bad?"

"Yeah," I sigh. Lying does nothing but complicate everything. "It's gruesome."

"That's comforting," Beth laughs nervously and shakes her head.

"That's why I don't want you to promise me anything, baby," I don't think I'd be able to handle her leaving, when my mind was so wrapped up in a promise, that she didn't have to keep. "When and if that happens, we'll take it day by day, okay? You and me, baby. Just you and me."

"And Mushu," Beth adds with a sly smile. "He still counts, even if daddy doesn't like him." She finishes with a smirk.

"You're a pain." I groan, sighing. Beth laughs, head thrown back.

Sometimes I forget how much I love Beth's laugh. And I love it. It's my favorite sound. "I really want to rip your skirt off you," Beth hums and wiggles her eyebrows. "But that'll have to wait because I have one last surprise." It's actually the biggest surprise, and it has the power to make my heart palpitate in unhealthy ways.

"Harry," Beth sighs.

"It's small remember? Tiny."

"Harry you've given me more than I could ever ask for. I don't need anything else. Even if it's tiny." And it's the fact that she feels this way that makes me want to shower her with anything and everything.

"Please baby? I really want to." I've been wanting to since I tripped over her, and she chewed me out for waking her.

"But you don't have to." Beth whines, pulling on my hair slightly.

"I know," I kiss her cheek as my hand cups the back of her head, "but I really want to. Like a lot. Besides I can't return it." I tap on Beth's hip, until she gets the message and stands. "Come." I say holding out my hand, smiling slightly as she curls her fingers with mine.

"Where are we going?" Beth asks. I wink at her when we get inside the hotel's elevator, my finger pressing the stop at the roof. I only wink again when Beth looks over at me confused and a bit wary.
It takes longer (or it seems like it, because I'm fucking nervous) when the elevator dings and the door slides open.

We walk out, Beth smiling as the night sky is revealed to us and absolutely nothing else (except fairy lights, because realistically we need to see and Beth adamantly loves fairy lights) Beth turns to get a good look around, gasping, as she admires the small lights. She squeezes my hand before running to the edge and staring down at the floors below, chuckling at how tiny the cars look from our view.

"Everything's so small," she chortles.

All I can manage to do is stand next to her, because I'm about to explode from the nerves. But even as nervous as I am (and I'm almost trembling) the only thing I can focus on is Beth.

"I wonder if I can drop things from up here and not get caught," Beth mutters to herself, leaning towards the edge, hair fanning around her. "I have to remember to bring Louis up here." Beth says with excitement, as she looks down. There's movement behind my shoulder as I nod, discreetly. "This is s-" Beth stops her sentence abruptly, as the roof lights up (and I owe the staff a very generous tip) I take her hand and lead her away from the edge.

"Now I can see your face," I speak, pulling her in and hugging her against my chest. Beth leans upward and kisses my neck. She pulls away and moves back. I take both her hands and tangle them with mine, as she looks at me with curious and slightly confused eyes.

"You were the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen when I met you," I eventually start. Beth's laugh is my favorite and it only gets better when I remember I was the one who made her happy. "I have been in love with you since I was eighteen. I have been in love with you since you threw your jumper at my head, and cursed me out," I know Beth doesn't remember, but it doesn't make her small laugh any less genuine. "I've met a lot of people, Beth. Tons and tons of people, and none of them have ever made me feel the way you do. Not even close. I love you."

Beth goes to say it back, when I shake my head and squeeze her hand to stop her. She closes her mouth, as her eyes are shinning bright and alert. "You have been the best thing that's ever been mine, Beth. You're my person, my home. I hurt you, I know, I have baby. I know there are things I will never be able to fix." My eyes should dry with the amount of time they're left open, but they only glimmer with unshed tears, because I'm emotional right now and Beth somehow knows she needs to be the strong one. "You've seen me at my best--when it seemed like no one could stop us. When no one could get in our way. You've seen me at my worst, where I was afraid you'd leave. But you didn't. I gave you every reason to--even if you don't remember--and you didn't."

"Never going to leave you. Ever." Beth mutters absolute and confident, like it's the only truth she knows.
That's when my tears--much to my dismay--begin to slide down my cheeks. And I'm slightly embarrassed and I know it should be the other way around, but if Beth finds this weird, she doesn't say so and she doesn't make fun.

I wipe my wet eyes with my wrist and sniffle, chuckling right after. "I still want all of that Beth. I want all of you to myself. I want to be the one who drags you out of bed in the mornings and I want our unmade bed to remind you of all the cuddles and every whispered secret we share. I want to be your home, your friend, your family. I want you, Beth, I want every breakdown and nightmare you come with. Every laugh and lame joke you decide is hilarious even if it's not. I want you forever. Just you and me, baby. Forever."

I lick my lips, swallow and say, "Beth?"

"Harry," she utters. As a member from the hotel's staff comes over and hands me a black velvet box, and then disappearing from where he came from. I sink down on my knew, as she looks down.

"Will you marry me?" I ask, waiting for her answer, and I feel like I've left my body, or I've died from my bouncing nerves.

Holding my breath, I'm waiting to hear a camera snap, or for someone to come out of a corner. I'm waiting for a mob of paparazzi, or a helicopter to pass by. Because something is supposed to happen. Something always happens.

Except nothing happens. Nothing and it feels so surely because Beth's standing in front of me, starring at a ring I'm hoping to place on her finger.

"Beth?"

"Oh my God," Beth covers her mouth, and it feels like she can't look away, not even if I wanted her to. And I don't. "H-holy shit, you're serious?!"

"Yes," I breathe out shakily. Oh god, it's a no. Beth's going to say no and she's going t-

"Yes," she says, removing her hand from her mouth. "Yes." Beth nods, face looking scared and shocked. Something flashes in her eyes as a smile forms on her lips and she breathes out, "Holy fuck, Harry , yes, yesyesyes, a million, billion, infinity times ten, yes!"

That's when my heart starts again and I stand, ring in one hand as the other goes to the back of her skull, as I kiss her quiet. When I pull away--and I really don't want to right now--Beth's eyes are shimmering and her hand rakes through her hair. My fingers pull the ring form the box's small pillow. I take Beth's hand and slide the ring on her left hand, my eyes getting ready to cry.

"I--fuck Beth--I love you--I love you so much."

"You better, because now you're stuck with me, forever and ever."

And that's probably the best thing I've ever heard.

"Yeah, forever and ever."