I Solemnly Swear I Will Survive Boarding School

I Solemnly Swear I Will Survive Boarding School [01]

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round, all the way to town. The people on the bus go up and -”

Twitch.

“...up and down...”

Twitch twitch.

“...on the bus go...”

Snap!

I stood up abruptly from the seat I was occupying and stormed to the front of the bus, all the while swaying and clutching the poles to steady myself. 

God damned bumpy roads.

When I reached the front of the stinky bus I reached down in front of the even stinkier bus driver and yanked out his tortuous tape. I held it up in front of his face and waved it around furiously.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!? We all know that the bus’ wheels go round and round, you twat! We don’t need to hear a fucking song about it!” I yelled at him. Yeah that’s right, try wake me up again and who knows what I’ll do next. The fat bus driver scowled at me and began to grumble to himself, probably about the vile creatures known as teenagers he has to come into contact with. I smiled sweetly at him and pocketed the tape, making my way back to the rear of the bus. I looked out the window and saw the bus was climbing a steep hill, and all around me there was no life - no shrubbery, no trees, no nothing. Just good ol’ dirt.

My name is Ava, and I am but one of those vile creatures known as teenagers. My hair is brown, with a natural curl to it, and my eyes are undecided - they seem to like to change from week to week. Sometimes they’re blue, sometimes they’re green, but most times they’re a light grey colour, which always seems to freak people out. I’m... voluptuous... to say the least, with a keen eye for detail and smarts. I like anything sport-like and physically challenging, and despise any action deemed ‘feminine’ by the male population.

Now why, may you ask, am I stuck here, on a stinky bus with an even stinkier driver, in the middle of nowhere, on my way to where? Ah, my friend, I shall tell you.

To cut a long and exciting story short, I have had too many run-ins with the law than my parents care to count, so they decided to cart me off to the most horrible of institutions in the universe, one that goes against the grain of my beliefs and the movement of my soul. The institution caters for the wealthy - aka my parents - to make their children the best that they can be - in the eyes of society. First, they strip you of your beliefs and personality, then mind fuck you into oblivion, and then at the end, they put you in a frilly pink dress and tell you how to eat, how to drink, how to consummate, and even how to better serve your husband. Sound like fun? I thought not.

This, is what I must survive for the remaining years of my schooling life. This, is my entrance into St Kronos’ School for Teenage Delinquents.

Apparently, I, along with many other males and females, must endure years of etiquette training, tea-party hosting and role model display for the future. This boarding school was designed to turn girls into women, and boys into men, for the better of our country.

I’m going to die here!