Earth

Lost

"Kiss everything away."

-Melissa Etheridge, "Kiss Me"

I knock on the door to my room. Normally, I would just walk right in without any forethought or afterthought. But today is different. Sarafina is mourning over the loss of her girlfriend, and she is extremely sensitive. She may need to be left alone in our room to cry, and if she does, I'll be obligated to give her space.

"Come in," Says Sarafina.

I turn the doorknob, and walk in slowly. There is my sister, lying face down on her mattress. She is covered by one or two blankets. She looks so sad and helpless. I can't believe she has to go through this grieving process at such a young age.

I sit down on my bed, which is next to hers. "Hey," I say, looking down at her head of curly hair. "Do you need anything?" 

Sarafina shakes her head. Sarafina looks up at me. Her mascara is running, and her eyeliner is ruined. She looks awful. "Why?" She says. "Why did Arielle have to die? Is this even real? Am I in a nightmare?"

My eyes well up with tears. "Some things are really not fair," I say. 

I hug Sarafina. As our arms wrap around each other, I realize something. Hell is real. What my mom told me when I was a little girl about there being no hell is complete bullshit. Hell isn't just a place filled with demons and fiery lakes. It's a state of mind that we visit on the Earthly plane, even though sometimes we don't want to. 

Right now, I am in Hell. What has brought me there is exorcising a demon and killing my sister's girlfriend without trying. Now, I have to see Sarafina like this. I am being tortured. Some divine entity is trying to torture me. 

And I want to feel good again. I want to be in that happy, blissful state of mind that I was in before. But will that ever happen again? Probably not. A wise man once said that everything that happens to you, everything that you go through, changes you. Now I am certain he was right. 

"I want to get out of here," Sarafina whispers.

I pull away in fear. My eyes become wider than gumballs. "What?!" I ask.

"I need to get out of this house. Out of this town! Hell, it would even be relaxing to get out of this state," Sarafina says.

"Oh, my God, Sarafina," I say, "Leaving home won't solve your problems!" 

"I HATE IT HERE IN GOLDEN VALLEY!" She yells. She gets up, and walks over to the altar. She takes my pocket mirror, throws it on the ground, and smashes it to pieces. 

"What the hell?" I ask quietly.