Earth

Gone

"When you lose your side, and suddenly, the day comes."

-Stevie Nicks, "Love is Like a River." 

Today, I am back at school. My campus is filled with people clad in santa hats and ugly sweaters. I don't get the sweater part--we're in Florida. Friends gather together with their cliques. I see them smiling and laughing together. Some kids even exchange gifts. Everyone is so happy, because it is the last day of holiday break. In a few short hours, we will be able to leave this hell hole people call school.

Everyone is happy, but me. Before the whole incident with Arielle, I had never seen anyone die. To be honest, I didn't think I ever would, either. I had no clue what I was jumping into, exorcising that demon out of James. I should have had someone more experienced, like Mapa, come with us. Then, maybe things would have been better. I look down and take a minute to grieve the loss of my frenemy.

Sarafina is still a wreck. She's even worse than I am. I have not seen her at all today. When I woke up, she wasn't in her bed next to mine. I'm hoping she woke up before me, and got to school early. That's probably not the case, though.

The reality is, she probably got sick of all this witchy bull. She probably stayed up all night looking for her uber-Christian parents. She most likely found their location online, and ran back to them. Of course, she thinks she'll be safe with a bunch of Bible thumpers. When she sees them again, they'll probably say they're happy to see her and that Jesus will save her, or whatever Christians say when they see their separated child. 

Unfortunately, this is only the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that she committed suicide. And even an idiot would know that the worst usually comes true. Just look at Aria and all the hell she rose--literally.

I take a peak at my schedule. The first class I have is A.P. Euro. I bite my lips. I frown. A tear drops from my eye. Arielle used to sit next to me in that class. At the time, I wasn't a fan of the seating arrangement. I didn't like Arielle at all. She was the girl who stole my sister's virginity. She was an evil whore, in my eyes. I never talked to her that much about anything other than homework. 

Now, I regret not getting to know her. I should have told her I was happy she introduced me to James. I should have told her about all our romantic dates. I should have told her I loved her hair, because it was true. I envied how smooth it was compared to mine. Arielle wasn't just the girl who was boning my sister. No. She was the girl my sister loved with all her heart.

I hold back my tears. I walk north towards my class. Halfway there, I turn around. I realize I can't handle going to A.P. Euro today. I will probably just end up looking at the empty seat next to mine. Then I'll sob uncontrollably while Mr. Rogers drags on one of his boring lectures about Christianity in Rome. 

I need to go sit somewhere. Maybe I should go to guidance? That may be a good idea. Then, I shake my head and immediately disregard that thought. I'll still be reminded of Arielle if I stay at school. I need to leave the building. I don't give a flying fuck about the consequences, either, which surprises me. 

I make my legs run as fast as they can go. I sprint out the back door, and leave the campus. I'm a bit sad that a great wave of relief doesn't flush over me like I thought it would. I am still sad. I still feel empty and guilty inside. Will anything ever make these feelings go away?

I walk down the street. I sit on a bench at the bus stop, and I look at the times the bus is coming. Just to my luck, a greyhound will be stopping here at 8:22--just a few minutes away. I open my bag, and search for my phone. I open my messenger app, and text James.

Me: Hey, bby. I need 2 talk 2 u.

James: What is going on??? I'm in English II. 

Me: U have a car, right?