I'm A Lumberjack! (Monty Python/Hetalia)

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One day, you run your hand through your hair. 'Time to get a hair cut again.' You think to yourself.

When you arrive at the barber shop, you see a young man with longish blond hair washing something dark red off of his arms in a sink.

"Morning!" You say cheerfully. He spins around quickly, clearly startled.

"Ah, morning, ma'am! Morning!' He replies nervously. "I'll um,um be with you in a minute."

"Fine." You go to sit down in one of the barber chairs. He spins around again and begins to wipe the remains of the red substance on his arms off. He stumbles a bit when he grabs a blanket thingy to wrap around your neck and laughs nervously. You pick up a magazine and begin to read it, not really paying attention to what the man was doing.

"How-h-ow would you like it, ma'am?" He stutters.

"Oh, just a trim." You reply absently.

"H-how do you do that?"
"Oh, you just trim it up." You say, turning the page of the magazine you were reading.

He goes into some kind of slight freak out about a razor, but you ignore it.

"Oh, Thank God, thank God. It's just, uh, scissors." He says.

"Yes, right."

"You wouldn't rather have it just combed, would you ma'am?"

"What'd you say?"

"You wouldn't rather forget all about it?"

"No, I want it cut."

"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! He's got psycho in his blood, dammit! Right, ma'am, I'll get everything ready." He turned away for a moment.

"Alright then." You said, going back to reading the magazine.

"In the mean time, perhaps you should fill in one of these." He says handing you a piece of paper.

"Oh, yes. Thank you." You read it over. "Excuse me."

"Uh, what?"

"Where it says next of kin, should I put 'Mother'?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"Alright, there now." You say handing the paper back to him.

He takes the paper and rips it up, throwing it over his shoulder. He laughs nervously, and you laugh a little as well. You go back to reading the magazine. You hear a couple of snips and whistling. After a couple of seconds, he goes to drink something out of a bottle.A few more seconds later, He says "There all finished!"

"What" "I've finished cutting cutting cutting you're hair. It's all done."

"But you haven't started cutting my hair!"

"Yes, I did! I cut it really fast!"

"Look, here old fellow. I know when my hair's been cut and when it hasn't, so would you please stop fooling around and get on with it!" You say, irritated.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll start cutting you're hair! Nice day isn't it?" He says. You hear snipping as you reply.

"Yes it is, though we could use a bit of rain."

"You see the match last night, ma'am?"

"Oh, yes. It was a good game, I thought."

"I thought Harrison played well."

"Beg pardon?"

"I thought Harrison played well."

"Oh, yes."

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jul 17, 2013 ⏰

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