Am I alive, or just existing?
I wish I knew the answer to this question. What was exactly the difference? What does it feel like to be alive and happy? I may never know the answer to this.
I guess you could say I'm just existing. Waiting for something bad and tragic to happen to me so I don't have to continue this, long, slow, painful, meaningless journey. Waiting for my numbness to somehow go away, or just disappear?
I've never felt so lost and alone like I have this year, it was the end of winter, or at least that's what I remember last time I checked when I left school in March. I can't remember the last time I left this house, it had been weeks. Stuck in this bed at the back of the house. I had stopped going to the weekly support group my psychiatrist suggested. There was no point. No one, or nothing could help me at this point. I was too far gone.
My parents tried to help me in many ways but they just gave up, they'll once in a while come in to check on me and offer me food. I was always sleeping and tired. The anti- depressants I was on always drained me of the little energy I had left.
I stared at the only small light that lit up the room
2:32am
I sighed and rolled on to my back. I stared at the dark ceiling, letting the silence consume me. I could hear a few night owls outside and the occasional car passing.
My thoughts overcame me and I soon fell into a deep slumber.
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Sorry that was short, it's just kinda a sneak peak / introduction ???? Pls vote and comment :) love you all xx
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Fix me // Luke brooks
FanfictionHow much can a person handle waking up every morning, and having that same disappointment feeling in the pit of their stomach? How much can someone handle never feeling good enough for anyone? How much can someone handle too much, without wanting...
