Understanding Him, Thread By Thread

IV

I set the bowl of rice porridge in the middle of the table.
I made it yesterday so it's still good until tomorrow.

I served myself and Juuzou (who seems to watching the ceiling as if it's interesting) and avoid any contacts with him.

Technically, I have been avoiding him for more than three days, and he doesn't come home frequently becuase of his job.

I carefully put down his own bowl infront of him as he abruptly grab my hand - this have to be our first contact with each other after avoiding each other.

I gulp down my saliva out of nervousness and gave him an uneasy smile. "Y-yes Juuzou?"

He didn't response right away as he keep staring at the ceiling. I gave him a look of confusion and was about to asked what's his problem when his gaze slowly turn to mine.

I swear that his eyes were judging me unintentionally - it almost makes me self-concious.

His mouth open a bit, but didn't say anything - making me agitated on what is he going to say.

'I know I didn't talk or acknowledge you for three days' I inwardly grimace. 'But stopping yourself from telling your privileges over me is torture'

I tried pulling away, but he didn't budge, and for the first time in three days, I finally heard his voice.

"Nothing change after that right?" He ask with a smile - which kind of force, whilst his grip on my hand slowly tighten.

My mind wonders on what he was referring and what's that he is talking;

Until I remember that scenario I encounter with him three days ago.

He waited for my answer patiently, never letting his gaze falter from mine.

I blinked at him; my mind processing what shall I answer or how should I response to his question.

To be honest, A lot of things would (actually had) change after knowing his real gender -

First is that, my intention and gestures would change.

I'm a conservative person (if you're not, Atleast try and imagine you are) and being with a male who looks like the opposite sex is not exactly my theme of being 'comfortable'

And that I let him borrow my own clothes.

Even the underwears.

You could just imagine how uncomfortable I am with that conclusion.

Second, is his maturity. I am (older/younger/the same age) than/as Juuzo.

And his lack of maturity always intrigue me to be more 'safer' around him.

It's not that I don't trust him, it's only because I was merely observing him.

He tried to help me cut some vegetables to make curry once - and he cut himself quite deeply and didn't even react to the pain. (More like I did)

I also noticed his ways around people back in the zoo (for the last few days) - as if he had multiple personalities.

I might say, if he ever was an actor to begin with, he is a talented one.

And he only show his compassionate and annoying sides towards me - yet it never occurs to me what actually is his real personality.

"Well...?" Juuzou snap me out of my trance with a click of his tongue.