The Online Profile of a Serial Killer

Posted on September 23, 2022 (Second Post)

A little boy stared up at me. We both stood in a dark void, looking at each other. He resembled me as a child, except he had no mouth or nose, just a patch of skin where his nose and mouth should be. He stared harder at me, and although he had no mouth, I heard him giggle.

The boy walked away and I felt compelled to follow him. The darkness turned into towering trees surrounding me. We walked deeper into a clearing housing a dead birch. I didn't see the boy anymore. Walking closer to the birch, I squinted through the darkness and saw a wooden chair facing it. Closer, I noticed a woman sitting in it. Her long, black hair and white night gown flowed over the backrest and legs of the chair. Her back faced me and I couldn't see her face.

"Hello?" I said, but she didn't answer. Her hand moved on her lap, pinching a wooden rosary. On the trunk is a portrait of Jesus, tilted. I walked closer to the woman, and put my hand on her shoulder. I tugged at her to face me, but the strength drained from my arm and I suddenly couldn't move. I tried to release her shoulder but was stuck. I suffocated.

I was dreaming – I became aware. I forced myself to wake. Finally, waking, feeling my body lying on my mattress on the floor, I was paralyzed. My eyes, barely open, saw the egg white walls around me. An invisible dead weight crushed my chest. I tried to scream but nothing came out.

Seconds passed, the dead weight lifted, and the crippling energy finally released me. I opened my eyes wide and the ringing in my ears faded into the street noises coming from my open window. In my hand was an open bottle of Vicodin -- pills spilled out onto the bed sheet. The dark sky through the window was brighter over the horizon, and I heard the murmur of voices outside. Red and blue beams of light streaked across the wall.

Indian summer arrived, and the air was wet with humidity. My body was damp with sweat. Willing my legs to stand up was almost impossible. I couldn't remember how many pills I took the night before. My body was twice as heavy. Standing up with all my effort, I dragged my feet, moving slowly to the window. I leaned out the window into the humidity and peered out down the street. About two buildings down were seven or eight cop cars and two fire trucks. A crowd of people stood on the grass and sidewalks, talking to uniformed police officers.

A voice startled me. "I let myself in," Marie said in the doorway. My heart jumped in my chest. "I was knocking for ten... ten minutes. Are you okay?"

In my drugged haze, I recalled giving Marie a spare set of keys, but this was the first time she had used them. "What's going on outside," I forced the words out of my throat, and my own voice seemed to echo.

"Someone died," she walked towards me.

"What?" I sputtered.

"I was walk... walking by and asked a cop. It was a homeless man," she said. My body swayed side to side as if drunk. "Are you okay?" she said, concerned.

"What did he say?" I said.

"He wouldn't tell me. But... but there are firemen everywhere. And the wall of the building was all blackened up," she grabbed my shoulders to stop my swaying. "Did you drink?"

I pressed my finger tips on my temple. I wobbled, almost collapsing, but Marie held me up.

"Oh my god," Marie embraced me and laid me down on the mattress.

I immediately sat back up. "Sit down," I pull at her arms. "I have something to tell you."

"You're scaring me. What's wrong?" she said, kneeling down on the mattress beside me.