When Justin and I first started dating, things. were. perfect. That all soon changed when my ex boyfriend suddenly decided that he loved me again. Let me explain:
I'll start from the beginning.
It all started when my ex boyfriend, Ben, asked me out on Valentines day of Junior year. Still being young and dumb, all I saw was a sweet boy who loved me and wanted to date me. So of course, I said yes. We would go on all these romantic dates and it was perfect. But then; Ben changed. He started getting angry at me for doing (or not doing) little things. For example, he'd get mad at me for not hanging my coat up at his house. Of course, I'd say sorry and then go pick it up. Well, things progressively got worse and pretty soon I was saying sorry for any action I did. I was his little toy. He would play with me, and do whatever he wanted with me. He would call me all kinds of names. The abuse never turned physical, but I knew that if our relationship stayed on this same path that it would. It might even turn into sexual abuse. Throughout all of this, Justin, my best friend, had been my shoulder to cry on. I would tell him everything. When Ben would tear down my confidence, Justin would build it up. Justin and I would see each other just as regularly as Ben and I would. It was hard though, because we'd have to do it secretly; otherwise Ben would prevent me from seeing Justin. Eventually, I worked up enough courage and ended things with Ben. He started screaming and calling me names, and kept telling me that no one else would take the time to love someone as worthless as me the way he had. I immediately walked out of his house afterwards, with Justin in his car waiting for me. I hopped in the passenger seat and said, "Drive, J, drive!" Next, I filed a restraining order against Ben. Now Ben wouldn't be able to abuse me ever again. The same night I ended it with Ben, my eyes were opened. Who was always there for me when I needed it? Who truly loved me? That's when I realized I had friendzoned the one guy that I should be more than friends with. I told Justin about what I had discovered and he asked me out on the spot. Of course, I said yes. Now we've been dating for awhile, and that leads me up to where we are today. We are currently going out, but Ben keeps trying to mess it up. He has been getting dangerously close to violating the restraining order. To be completely honest it has been scaring me a little. I have been freaking out a lot lately, and Justin has been protecting me the best that he can. But, he's also been getting irritated by it. Sometimes I think that Justin doesn't even love me. Maybe he just pitied me after what Ben did. Regardless of if he really loves me or not, it doesn't feel like it anymore. The stress Ben has caused in our relationship may be irreparable.
