ReMoved (Foster Care)

ReMoved part 1

Sometimes someone hurts you so bad" it stops hurting at all in till something makes you feel again. And then it all comes back every word every hurt every moment how can you ever understand where I come from even if you ask even if you listen you do not really hear or see or feel you don't remember my story you haven't walked my path you haven't seen what I've seen. My past defines me this is who I am I am unseen unheard unwanted. That is what I am if even I am anything it's still the same thing that held me up and forced me down a world turned upside down. A order disappeared nothing is how it's supposed to be a heavy sadness filled my soul. Deeper and deeper I fell with in my self and nothing could draw me out trapped in the misery of my life lost in the sorrow of my soul. Unable to see the light unable to see the dawn to feel to hope to dream and I found the darkest days of my life kept coming and the blackest nights of my soul never stopped it seemed like it was alway night time and nightmares and never morning and maybe you wonder but mostly you try not to think about it and try to get by and try to survive and all the other stuff seems so much like nothing compared to just wanting the most inportant things back like wishing you can see your moms smile again and here her sing that one favourite song that calms you down when thing were messed up or if you couldent have her back at least be able to take care of your baby brother cause you know he needs you hel be all scared all alone and who's gonna hold he's hand and tell that it's gonna be alright and who will whisper it to me I know I am helpless and dependent deprate but what happens when the ones you need most threaten your very existence I've heard plenty of promises and they all sound the same but push hard enough and sooner or later they all prove to be empty the sun comes up every morning but do you know where each place it's somewhere different it's hard to find east when you keep on moving around but at least it comes mit always comes I always depend on that and slowly seasons change. Around me and it seemed  this that maybe the world might not be pulled from under me again feet safe roots starting to grow little buds of hope starting slowly attempting to trust  new life  I wish someone would tell me it's going to be okay that one day maybe I'll feel normal that I won't always be no one that I'll have a mommy that will hug me and be strong for me  because maybe just maybe I can't do it all by myself  this my past my history my story is not my fault  it's not because of me and it doesn't have to be what defines my future I am lo able I am worthy of care and that glamour of light makes all the difference they give me hope that one day my summer will come.