Earning Her Trust

Chapter 1

Lily

I tapped my foot impatiently. Where the hell was he? I had been waiting at this party alone for so long. Sure, I looked so much better than I did last year, but that doesn't mean I want to be left alone at a party. Last year it had been so much easier to coordinate. Todd, my best friend, lived in the same building on campus with our other friends and me for our freshman year. Now, as high and mighty sophomores, I lived in upperclassman housing, while he was back on the freshmen campus as a student director. Not only did it take much longer for him to make his way to the senior housing from the freshmen complex, but he also tended to run a bit late. Last year I had been able to manage because we would simply arrive fashionably late together. Now, I had forgotten his tendency to run twenty minutes late to everything and thought it would be a great idea to meet him here. I looked around one last time before I pulled out my phone.

It was almost midnight. We would probably sing to the birthday girl before he ever even arrived. God, I hated being alone. It brought me back to all those miserable times when I was ditched as a kid. Sitting alone on the swings at recess, watching everyone else play together without me. It had taken a long time for Todd to break through my barriers, but eventually he did and I trusted him with everything in me. I knew he wouldn't let me down, even if I were annoyed at him for being late. He had liked me back before my whole new look...not like he even noticed.

Over this past summer, I had worked out every day, without fail, until I lost a good deal of weight. I wanted to do it the right way, without starving myself. I ate right, I exercised, and I bought a whole new wardrobe. I replaced my glasses with contacts, and learned how to treat my hair to make it look better. My hair had always been one of my better features, falling down my back in long, dark curls without too much effort. With just a little bit of styling, it now looked soft and silky and I loved it. I felt much better about myself. I had noticed that many people had treated me differently with my new look; guys were much nicer and in general people were much friendlier. The one exception was Todd; sure, it stung a bit, as I had had a crush on him for the longest time, that he didn't even seem to see my new appearance. That being said, it certainly made me feel better about myself that he treated me exactly the same regardless of how I looked.

One time I had gotten really drunk and told him I loved him. He didn't respond, and I was terrified that I had ruined our friendship. The next day, he pretended that it had never happened and our friendship went back to normal. I always wondered what he thought when I told him that, but I never brought it back up for fear that he would realize that I was serious. Once I realized that he could never see me as anything other than a friend, I decided I would move on to a new guy. I hadn't quite managed to find anyone the last time we went out together, but maybe tonight I would have the chance to find someone new.

I glanced at my phone as a new text lit up the screen. It was Todd, who was running late. I rolled my eyes. Typical Todd. Well, I would use this time to scope out the guys in the room. I knew I could never make a move on a guy in front of Todd, for fear of rejection. It was one thing to be turned down, it was a completely different thing to be turned down in front of the guy I liked. That would simply prove him right for turning me down.

I didn't know what it was motivating me tonight, but all I wanted was to see Todd's jealous face as he realized that I was no longer liked him as more than a friend. Maybe it was the cup of jungle juice in my hand; I had always promised my mother that I would never drink anything that someone else had made without a friend by my side. But tonight, I wanted to break all the rules. And the alcohol in this drink could just possibly give me the courage necessary to approach the next guy that made eye contact with me.

If only I could have known then that what was controlling my actions was so much more than the slight bitterness I had felt at the rejection of my best friend. No, Fate had something much bigger planned for me that night, but I would only learn that much later.