Transgender; brallon

1.4

tw: dysphoria, stay safe y'all I love u

brendon

I walked up the stairs to dallon's room, nervous for what he wanted to talk about.

sure he said we weren't breaking up, but I still couldn't shake the nervous feeling in my stomach.

i entered his room, seeing his lanky body hunched over as he sat on the edge of the bed.

I sat myself next to him, talking his shoulder to get his attention.

"hey, baby." he said, kissing my cheek and taking my hand in his.

he let his fingers run across my knuckles, massaging the skin.

"what did you wanna talk about?" i asked, focusing on his hand.

"I wanted to talk about you, and what makes you comfortable," he explained, his tone serious, but still soft. "in case we ever end up getting more intimate, I want to do what will make you comfortable, okay?" I nodded, taking in what he said.

this was all such a blur to me, I had never faced any intimate situations like last night before. even when we made out, he was the one to lead.

"I uh, I've never faced situations like this before, obviously. my body is changing, and while it's pleasant, it's also really unpleasant too. my sex drive is increasing too, & I don't have any way to release it and I want to, I just feel so weird?" I could feel my face burning as I explained it to him, he continued to give me his full attention.

"I want to be close to you, closer than ever before. I don't know what to do, I've never done anything. I'm just scared that you'll find me repulsive or something, or gross. fuck, I have to deal with my boobs and stuff too, it fucking sucks, dal. I hate it so much, my dysmorphia is terrible right now." I felt a tear roll down my cheek, not even realizing I was beginning to cry.

he pulled me into his lap, rubbing my back soothingly. hushing me and telling me that it'll be okay.

"brendon, you will never repulse me. no matter what changes you continue to go through. you get acne? I'll go buy you proactive. your body odor getting weird? I'll lend you some cologne & old spice. your body is perfect to me, it will always be. we don't have to rush anything if you're not ready. we can look up some stuff and see what can work for us, okay?" I nodded, pulling my head from his chest and kissing him softly.

"I love you so much." I whispered, squeezing my arms around him.

"I love you too, bren."

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nice :-)

did u miss me