Feel This

Chapter 3

I looked at him completely dumbfounded. He chose me? Why? I was dark haired and plain faced, sporting a grey shapeless jumper and skinny jeans. I wasn’t exactly dressed to impress, whereas, half of the female population in this room looked as though they had just stepped out of a magazine. I didn’t exactly ooze intrigue. I was flattered but just a little bit confused and judging by the look on everyone’s faces, so were they.  The silence in the room was unnerving and as I slowly surveyed my peers, I found it funny how nobody even tried to conceal their disappointment. Looking back at Daniel, I watched as he eased himself against the back of the chair, placing his satchel on the floor beside him. I must have adopted a quizzical expression because he smirked at me before answering my unspoken question,

“You were the only one who didn’t look as if you were about to eat me alive.”  Not exactly the answer I was looking for but it’ll suffice, I thought. I was surprised at how casual his tone was. After the cold display at the front of the classroom and the bus incident, I had simply assumed that he was that blunt and harsh to everyone and was bracing myself for winter conditions. Maybe I had just seriously misread him. As I looked at him now, there was a life present in his eyes that wasn’t there before. The icy green was suddenly a warm emerald and as I stared and stared, I forgot that it was my turn to speak.

“Don’t worry, I ate breakfast,” I replied, sounding quieter than I normally would, thinking back to the measly piece of toast I decided was adequate for the most important meal of the day. The room started to buzz as people began fiercely whispering amongst themselves, the reason for this being obvious. I looked down at the table, unsure of how to handle the situation.

I heard Daniel chuckle quietly at my remark. I stole a quick glance at him and saw the action lit up his entire face, making him look like a completely different person. He suddenly looked warm and friendly and as a result, I could feel my guard slowly thickening. The sudden change in persona was slightly unnerving and I just couldn’t suss him out. Usually I’m a very apt judge of character. There was something about him that was just so enticing, yet so menacing at the same time. Bittersweet, I decided.

“You might wanna pass on the importance of breakfast to our fellow classmates,” he offered in a slightly amused tone and as he rubbed his hand over his stubbly jaw, the muscles in his forearm twitched.

I grinned briefly at his comment, deciding it was probably wise for me to just focus all my attention on my music before I was sucked into his rapidly growing fan club. It was like the backbone in my life. Whenever I wasn’t entirely prepared to address reality, music was there to make it slightly more tolerable. Of course I had my friends but, somehow, it wasn’t the same. Music didn’t misunderstand or judge. It didn’t lie or make ambiguous comments. It was versatile and always did what I needed it to. It erased all the bad emotions for a while like a mental anaesthetic and I was more than glad for that effect. Sometimes though, I wished I didn’t need the music to help me feel that way. Sometimes I just wished that I was enough to make me feel like that.

I put both my earphones back in. Daniel didn’t seem to mind this anti-social action as he dug around his satchel and produced a book titled “The Case of the Missing Soul.” He flipped through the pages until he had found his makeshift bus ticket book mark and started to read. As my curiosity flared, another trance like track started playing from my playlist and I felt the music bend around and twist, forming loops in my head. I watched as it curled round Daniel, too. I took a sideways glance at him and saw as the music traced the line of his perfect jaw and pooled in the piercing green irises of his eyes. I watched as the music caressed his full lips and tip-toed down his muscly arms, curling itself around his fingers. It formed a multi-coloured aura around him, indecisive as to which colour fit him best. He was undeniably handsome, but in my mind that didn’t make him him. I noticed that he looked empty again; cold, hard, expressionless with his eyes smoothly moving left to right as he read the words off the pages. All I could think of in that moment was I bet he has his own story to tell.