PÔW!⇛10K

1-Cupcake Issue

"A Girl Can Be Your Best Friend,
Worst Enemy,
A True Sweetheart
Or
A Real Bitch.
It All Depends On How You Treat Her."

-

(UNEDITED)
Published-February 12,2016

"LIFE IS A HIGHWAY, I WANNA RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG. IF YOU'RE GOING MY WAY, I WANNA DRIVE IT ALL NIGHT 'LONG!!!"

I screamed the lyrics of Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts to absolutely no one as I drove my old sports bike-that was practically dying a slow death. So far I've traveled maybe 80 miles in the last hour not sure since my watch got crushed on the last run, doesn't matter I'm just to lazy to get my other one out of my pack.

You'd think I wouldn't be this lazy considering it's the zombie apoc— never mind let's start from the beginning.

Once upon a time there was a dipshit of a scientist that decided he would wake up one day and be like. 'Hmm I think I want to start the zombie apocalypse cause I'm a horrible person and mom didn't get me a milk shake when I was five,' I swear that's how some people even get in the morning. Jaysus!! Anyways it's been three years and a half I'm not complaining to be honest I kinda like killing the people I hate most, for example remember that brunette girl in 5 period? Well she's nibbling on someone's arm at the moment cause all she craves are BBBRRRAAAIIINNNSSS, haha sorry I like to exaggerate things because I'm bored everyday.

Walk a mile in my shoes and you'll see why I actually have a love hate relationship of what I do, it's not bad besides missing toasters for waffles, ovens for pizzas, deep fryers for fries...okay never mind I really do miss technology. Gahhhh!!!!! Stupid man bitch that created zombies, Ima kill you one day!!!! But if I did really kill him id kick him so hard in the ass a dead dentist would have to remove my toenails hehehe...then I'd cut his fingers off one bye one oo then I would make myself some cupcakes yumm. Okay never mind I have a lot of time to think now days besides running place to place.

Anyways today on the agenda is finding a group of survivors for operation Bite Mark- well that's what mister o' Citizen Z told me, lucky bastard not having the deal with these constant craving zambies.(haha pewdiepie reference)

*knock on wood*

Don't wanna jinx him now though I kinda wanna punch him in the stomach for leaving me here and forgetting to tell me there was A FUCKING CUPCAKE SHOP THREE MILES BACK AHHHH!!! Okay I admit it I have a cupcake issue in the zombie apocalypse.

Back to my wonderful horribly singing(in my opinion)

"THROUGH ALL THESE CITIES AND ALL THESE TOWNS ITS IN MY BLOOD AND ITS ALL AROUND- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU SKINNY WITCH!!!!"

I screamed the lyrics as they played through the radio of my bike-I'm very thankful Citizen Z has wonderful taste in music up there, I heard he got a dog too- sadly a weird skinny zombie gave me a look and started to chase my bike so I just yelled at her...dunno why I just hate people(even dead people) looking at me weird.

Ooh!! I forgot to say why I even know about this operation or mission whatever you'd like to call it, welllll about one month ago I found a cell phone with an awesome unicorn case on it then it started to randomly go off with text messages and then it face timed me-I know wtf!! Let's just say I was scared shitless.

But hey,I got a unicorn phone!!! And I have like a shit load of candy and honey buns in my pack, you may be asking 'why the hell does she have honey buns and candy in the zombie apocalypse?' Well honey bun(haha no pun intended) I can live of that stuff for dayyyyysssss it's absolutely amazing, like my mom doesn't have the opinion anymore to yell at me cause I have a huge sweet tooth and saying it's going to go straight to my hips.
I'm kinda happy she's dead she was crazy-well going crazy and she wasn't that nice to me. You'll see later on why.