"What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it"
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
Music danced through the air, wind blew from every direction making the sound of the moving trees fuse with the music creating a perfect orchestra for the perfect night. As I exited my cabin I instantly regreted my decision of kayaking with my sweater on, but it was the last night so my blue, old hoody and my adidas pants should do the trick. I walked past the totem which witnessed all my fails while trying to play field hockey or how I won the archery tournament. Flashbacks invaded my head like a waterfall, filling my head with the memories and feelings of the amazing week I had had. This waterfall continued and continued until my head was filled with so much water that it started to pour from my eyes. I sat near the totem. From here you could see must of the woods. You could see the beautiful lake where I used to waterskii. I looked up to the stars and I felt so tiny, but I felt so selfish because it felt like all the stars shone just for me when they should be shinning for us.The pine trees covered must of the place but you could hear Arianna Grande's "One Last Time" from miles. The perfect title for what was happening tonight. I stood up, legs shaking and walked towards the music. The party was supposed to be inside the Hangar but wasting a night like this one was a crime. I broke free from the trance the music had gotten me into and took a small detour. I walked pass the giant field until i reached the tunnel that went under the street into the woods were we used to hike. I remember those hikes we took, so innocent and pure at first, but it was impossible for me not to fell in love with you. I dont know if you did it on purpose or not but it was your fault for being the perfect piece my broken puzzle needed. I say its broken because I thought it was finished but I found you and I didnt even know I was looking for you and made my puzzle finally make sense. With you it looked more like a painting, so pure and free of borders, just one perfect picture with a simple image that was the key to make my life make sense. I stopped outside the tunnel fearing that this may be the last time I entered and the ghosts of our past would be disturbed by looking I was returning alone. I remember the mark we left. You were always so clever for this kind of things, like the day we met you took my hand and I felt this was the hand I wanted to put a ring on it someday or hold it on my last breath. You took me into the tunnel, took a small rock and drew a snake eating its own body. I didnt get it at the beggining but you then wrote the date and our names and I knew what it represented. "This is the symbol for eternity" your voice echoed through the tunnel and stills echoes in my head. I was about to enter the tunnel when my phone rang. imessage pop-up appeared. "Party is almost over. Where R U?" I knew my friends were waiting for me and it was selfish from me not to go for a final goodbye. My final hike will have to wait. I left and walked again, now tranced my the sound of Ed Sheeran's "Sing". I reached the beach in a couple of minutes. People danced with flowers around their necks. I could see my first crush dancing with her friends, all so out of my league that could make you think if maybe you should change of sport. She looked at me and waved me. I didnt know if it was our final hello or our first goodbye. She kept dancing while I felt how someone's arms waved past me, hugging me from behind and shouting. I knew that laugh. It was my best friend since first day since we met during the first campfire. She was the only one that laughed when I told a really good joke in my opinion but sometimes people arent ready for my humor. We talked while other friends joined us and what started with laughs, sincere smiles and akward dancing became just 6 people, looking with watery eyes hoping this night was the last of summer but the first of the rest of our lifes. We all looked up and to the full moon, laughing in how scary it was to depend so much on some people to be happy. This moment followed more dancing to old Katy Perry songs. I looked everywhere for those hazelnut eyes that shone brighter than any star or your cacao-ish brown hair that you hated for being the same color "shit-like" of your eyes. The night was continuing to follow but I couldnt stand the idea of not admiring you for the last time. I called it early, dissapointed that you were going soon to become another drop in the waterfall of memories and feared that one day that memory escaped through my eyes when I thought of how I never got to kiss you. I wanted a last hike through our forest before leaving. I stood outside the tunnel for the last time, took out my flashlight and entered. I wanted to appreciate our mark that established the eternity of our friendship/love/suffering. I heeled next to it but I was intrigued by a new mark that was next to it with today's date. I stood up faster than I had never done it before, placed the flashlight in my pack and left towards the hiking trail. I knew what that sign meant. My pace increased but didnt go as fast as my heart when I saw the smoke from the woods. I aproached slowly when I saw the campfire but when I saw your figure I froze. I will never forget that moment. That frame of you sitting by the campfire looking up to the stars with the hoody you stole from me one day and the guitar you took always with you. I wanted to talk, to shout for your name one last time and hear you say mine, hoping you said it with the same feelings as I did. I took a step closer to see what you were admiring with such grace that made you smile and I swear that was something no one could forget. I tripped with a rock and felt to the ground, hitting myself in the knee. I wasnt able to shout of pain because the moment I touched the ground and looked up I saw you just looking at me, laughing in how I had tripped so many times in the same spot and complained that I was late, like you knew I would found your mark. Ofcourse you knew. I felt your hands again holding mine, helping me up and hugging me. It felt just so perfect how 2 bodies could fit so excellent together, my chin resting on your head while you stood in yout tipps. "You need to see it" she said and before i said a thing she was holding my hand and took me to the log she was sitting on. She looked up and her smile apperaed so magicaly I thought I had seen a miracle. I looked up as well and was impacted with the stunning view of an eclipse. How could I forget about it? i thought. "Its amazing isnt it" you said. "It happens only 1 time every 100 lifes" I said. "Like our love" I wanted to say but kept it to myself like all the other feelings. Then you started laughing like I was missing the point. "No, I mean is amazing how everyone fears darkness but fail to realize that in those moments of fear, we reach for the people we love the must, until light comes up again and blinds our feelings". "I hope it stays this dark so you can see me before you go blind again" I said out loud. " I know, but even when I cant see you I know you are there for me." I looked down. Your silhouete was way more majestic than an eclipse. You stood so perfect in a world of imperfections. You bolted back up and ran to your back."I never told you, I have finished our song" you said while you took some papers and handed me one. "Try to keep up" you said while you took the guitar. "Twin Drops" the title said and followed by many annotations and scratched from your early sketches. It all went blank the moment you started singing. Your voice, our voice, travelled through the forest where we created so many memories once. I started shaking. I dont know if it was because of the cold of because you were looking me into the eyes, connecting, our hearts syncing and our smiles mirroring. We kept singimg until the fire started going out. Your face was lighted by it until, slowly it started to fade out. First your eyes disappeared but I knew you were looking at me, then your nose, cheeks and only I could see was your smile. Then it faded out but we both knew we were smiling. Music stopped and I was frozen, crying on how I was going to miss you. I felt your hand going through my back and the other one my face and I knew you were still smilling until we got closer and closer, dancing through the night until our bodies fused together making a perfect orchestra of feelings, love, fearm kisses and dancing, This was the music I will never forget.
