The lights were coming towards me and a blood screeching scream yelled out in panic. I shot up! My heart was pounding and a cold sweat fell to my cheek. I was shivering in fear of my most recent night terror.
As I stepped off my bed I could not help but stumble as my weak and frail legs hit the floor. I could feel my adrenaline lesson as I took a deep breath and collected all my thoughts. I made my way to the mirror as I saw my pale face regain life. My chocolate brown hair fell so innocently between my hazel eyes and distinct freckles, but looking at this image in front of me made me uneasy. My physical appearance was only a shell to the war going on inside my head, a war between contentment and anguish.
Sighing, I got dressed and made my way downstairs crossing paths with my mother.
“Good morning honey” she said with a concerned look on her face
I simply smirked and made my way out the door hearing my mother faintly whimper as the door closed after me.
It was a brisk spring morning. The rain from the night still lay on the concrete and the dew dropped from the newly sprouted daisies. The smell of spring was in the air and new life was forming from the now past frozen winter.
A sense of ease coursed through my body as I stepped outside and felt the breeze blow through my hair and caress my skin. My thoughts were dancing to the peaceful sounds of the world, the drops of the dew and the chirps of the birds, when my thoughts were interrupted by a dark and ominous cloud of fear. My goose bumps rows as I felt heat take place of the beautiful, breeze. What was this? As if an object was only an inch away showering me in this disgusting heat as I approached the intersection 7th and Viva.
Not a soul in sight; just me and the open air. That’s strange? I thought to myself... but I brushed off the unsettled feelings for I could have been overcompensating my internal conflicts that have not been resolved yet.
I arrived at school and made my way through the hall. My music was so loud my brain could not make out the words that were forming upon anybody’s lips. The music was narrating every one of my actions. I was living in the song the lyrics were my words the bass was my pulse. This is how I was able to control my thoughts, When the music was on everything was okay, because I had something to relate to. The music was giving me answers to my life’s questions. I listened to the songs throughout my days so I could keep myself calm. This is how I was able to survive the crazy and hectic jungle that is school.
The bell rang, it was three in the afternoon and the wave of kids flooded the halls. It was cramped and cluttered. The headphones were torn out of my ears as kids were moving in opposite directions besides me. The music was gone and I could feel the anxiety coming back. My head was pounding, a migraine so severe I could not keep my head up. I took a deep breath and tried to control myself. The music is the only thing that could keep me calm. I was drowning and could not breathe. I tried gasping for air so I could bring my blood pressure down but it was too late.
I was having an anxiety attack. My heart was pounding and my feet were running a marathon as I approached the door, there was a barricade of kids. I barged through the crowed as I was elbowed on my left side and my backpack strap tore. The doors swung open and I began to run. Faster than I have ever ran before. 15 kids watched me as I frantically ran through backyards and streets.
3:15 a bright flash of light came charging at my left side. I could smell the burning tires skid across the pavement and hear the hysterical horn cry out. I felt the hot exhaust against my, skin, my goose bumps rising, and the adrenaline coursing through my veins. There was a sudden pressure to my left ribcage and lower abdomen. I went flying to the cement only 20 feet away and I tossed and turned till I made a complete stop. I felt pain in my head, my side my body. I was dazed and confused it felt as if I was laying there forever just staring at the blurry sky and flashing lights at the intersection 7th and viva.
I opened my eyes that is when it all came back to me. I felt the blood pump once more when the bright light came again. This time I am defenseless, paralyzed on the cold hard ground. The car came uncontrollably when the light passed through me. But there was no pain.
