Am I Still not Good Enough?

Rejection-2

The pain took over my entire body and I let out a blood curdling scream of agony. It felt like my flesh was being singed away by lava, oozing and bubbling over my body and forever leaving a heated trail of painful scarring burns.

I didn't see Blaise walk away, but I did feel him kiss my forehead. I curled into fetal position and cried. Somehow I managed to get myself home before the end of the school day, and nobody saw me. I left my front door wide open as I trudged slowly up the steps, and crawled into my bed. I shut my eyes tightly, the tears pushing through and running down my cheeks. I gripped my covers and pulled them around me.

I just need to escape this....I just need to erase it from my mind...

~*~

I woke up in my bed and heard nothing but silence. The gleam from the full moon was the only light in my bedroom, and I fought with myself until I pulled my body from the warm covers and slowly tiptoed down the stairs. The front door was still open, and the clock on the wall above it read 3:52. I slammed the door shut.

It's obvious my dad isn't home, and it felt weird. So I did the one thing I could think of doing, I locked the front door, and the back door. Then I checked to make sure that all if the windows were closed and locked before mind linking the old alpha, and Blaise's dad, Markus Warren.

'Alpha Markus,' I channeled.

'Skyra? It's four in the morning.' He sounds grumpy. I winced.

'Sorry Alpha, I forgot the time.'

'Skyra, I am not your alpha anymore. You can call me Markus,' he requested.

'I would, but sorry I can't. I need to ask a favor of you.'

'Ask away. It's not like I was sleeping or anything,' he mused.

'Haha, sorry,' I laughed to him in my mind. Alpha Markus has always been like a father to me, well, more so than my own. He knows my father has an alcohol problem, but he doesn't know about the drugs and the abuse. 'Can you mind link my father? He never came home and well...I'm worried. And you and I both know he won't answer me.'

'Sure thing Sweetie,' he answered. And then the connection broke. I went to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal while I waited for him response. I looked at the time, 4:13. Great. Moments later my old Alpha's voice echoed in my mind.

'Sky?' He asked.

'I'm here.'

'Your father isn't answering me either. Knowing him, he's drunk. So he can't hear me.' His voice wasn't tired anymore.

'Okay, thank you Alpha,' I said, then blocked the connection out.

I finished my cereal then headed back to bed for the last 2 and a half hours before getting up for school. I quickly showered, using my coconut and lime soaps and then hopped out. I dried off, dried my hair, and looked in the mirror. There was no more bruising, only my whitish pink scars that were scattered over my body like the freckles on my face. I shook the disgusting feeling off and headed to my closet. I grabbed a pair of black skinny capri yogas, a lime green tank top, and a plaid flannel to match. After grabbing a purple thong and matching purple push up bra, I got dressed and threw my curly mess up into a bun. I let my bangs cover my face. After I finished with my usual heavy coating of makeup, I was just about ready.

I was still kind of full from my cereal, so I grabbed my bag and slipped on some lime green flip flops and then walked out the door. 7:56. Perfect timing!


To be honest, I wasn't worried to see Blaise. I was TERRIFIED. The aching feeling in my heart sent my wolf and I further into a depression with each step I took closer to the brick hellhole we call school. Starting from his black mustang, to his defined muscles, firm butt, amazing eyes...what am I thinking! The boy rejected me! And who's to blame him! Look at me! I'm awful! Just awful! I'm an abuser's daughter, and a whore's mistake. Who WOULD want me?

"Shitshitshit," I kept muttering under my breath as I walked past everyone and made my way to the glass doors. My head was down, but I wasn't going to be as clumsy anymore. I reached for the steel handle to the door and just as my soft fingertips grazed the cold metal, his laughter filled my consciousness. Everyone else was blocked out. Every noise, every whisper was on mute except for his laughter. And I almost broke down and cried. I gripped the handle to the door with unbelievable strength and squeezed it. He was legit four, maybe five yards to my left. I heard metal bending and saw what I had done. I kept my cool, but bent the fucking door handle! Shit! 'Way to draw attention to yourself,' I mentally smacked my forehead.

"Oh my god," someone whispered, obviously noticing my death grip on the door. I turned my head in the snobby bitch's direction and left out a snarl. Shit! That wasn't me! My wolf got the better of me. Her eyes widened, as did mine.

"Watch it, freak," someone shoved me, and I let out a whimper when their elbow hit my sensitive rib cage. I ripped open the door and dashed inside to hide from everyone. I quickly got to my locker and got my things, then shut it and ran to Mr. Simone's class way early for once.

"Why, hello Skyra. You're early today," Mr. Simone greeted, surprised.

"Yeah," I answered quickly. I moved my stuff to my usual desk in the back and sat down. I pulled out my iPhone 4S, a birthday gift from Alpha Markus on my 14th birthday, and stuck my headphones in my ears to drown out the sound of my wolf's cries over her mate. I chose Fix You by Coldplay and blared it in my ears. This song describes me perfectly right now.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite you bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When your too in love to let it go
But if you never try then you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

*instrument*

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And i...

Tears stream down your face
And I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And i...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And i...

Tears stream down your face
And I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And i...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

When the song ended, I realized two things. One, in that three minutes, only five people had come to class yet. And two, I had a tear slowly running down my cheek. I wiped at it furiously and gathered my things. I pulled out my headphones and walked up to Mr. Simone.

"I'm going to Mrs. C's room," I muttered. He glanced at me curiously but didn't question me. He just wrote me a pass and on it he wrote, "take as long as you need." I nodded to him and quickly made my way through the halls. Mrs. C's room is the room student go to if they need a bit to just unwind and relax.

"Skyra!" Someone called. I froze in my place. It was a deep, husky voice that sent pleasurable goose bumps over my skin when he said my name. Blaise.

I wouldn't turn to face him, so when his hand landed on my shoulder I pulled away like it was poison.

"Skyra, I need to speak with you," he growled menacingly.

"Go to hell," I managed to whisper. The halls were empty and he obviously heard me because he gripped my upper arm and pulled me into a janitor's closet.

"Wow." I grumbled to myself. My life has officially become a cliche novel!

"Skyra, you are not to tell anyone that we are mates. You got it?" Blaise demanded. I looked up at him and spat.

"Fuck you," I replied quietly. Blaise slammed me against the wall, forcing me to drop my books. He held me against the wall with his body, his face inches from my own. And then our lips connected.

I pulled back instantly, my head smacking into the wall.

"Ow," I growled and tried to push Blaise off of me.

"I can't believe I just did that," he whispered to himself with a glare on his face.

"Get the fuck off," I growled as I landed a punch on his bicep that obviously didn't phase him.

"Excuse me? You do not order your alpha. You will not tell anyone any of this, got it Skyra." It wasn't a question. So instead of responding, I did the one thing I could think of. I slapped him across his left cheek. Hard. His weight let off of me as he gripped his cheek and I took that moment to rip open the janitor's closet door and sprint to the exit doors, an angry Blaise hot on my heels, and Mrs. C's room all but forgotten.


"Stop running!" He growled. I spun around on my heel and held out my hands to keep Blaise from running into me.

I shot him a glare. We were toe to toe, and honestly it was really uncomfortable. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away, and he let me.

"Fuck you!" I screamed. "Fuck you Blaise! Because honestly I don't give a shit about you, and never have! I may be a wimpy little nobody on the outside but you don't know shit about me! So ya know what Blaise? Fuck you! Because I'm not going to stand by and watch you with your whore of a girlfriend strut around this school, while my heart breaks from losing our bond!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, a menacing glint in his eyes. But I just turned my back to him and walked towards home.