The Rhythm Of My Life

The One and Only. Rhythm Of My Life.

Writing is my sword
My armor
It is all I have to defend myself against the demons of my heart

But now
Without my keyboard,
Without the keys I know like a song I've sung a million times
Without the only way to defend myself from the demons

I am left alone

Left alone
To battle the oncoming darkness
Darkness with no stars to dance under
No moon to look to
Darkness, with no hand to hold

I have nothing
To fight with
And as the only things left to fight for slip from my grasp,
Like water through a heavily cracked glass
I question
Weather I should even keep fighting at all

And thus the demons are upon me
Surrounding me
Telling me I am wrong
I am stupid
Telling me I am the worst thing that has ever happened to this world,
And telling me
To stop fighting

Then the drumbeats of my heart overcome the screaming of my demons
The music inside reminds me
Why I am fighting

Cellos moan and sing
Calling my sadness out to the world
And embellish it with songs so joyful they are hard to consume

Violins whoosh and whine
Like a dance coming from deep inside,
Showing me which steps to take
Which path to choose

And the piano pounds out songs and beats distend to lead my heart to love
It smoothly,
Effortlessly,
Glides through my being
Quiet,
But always there

Then the flutes come in
Showing everyone else
They way I smile
The way I walk
The way I have music flowing through my blood
And even though it scares me
Even though I so often try and hide the triplets and eighth notes and staccatos that make my life mine
I love them all the same

And finally a singer
Fresh as the night air
Belts out songs and melodies
Of memories and futures.
The lyrics are true
And beautiful,
But still undiscovered to me.

And so the music fights back the demons
Slashes away all the voices in my head
Telling me I'm not worth it
Telling me to stop fighting

I reach out for anything,
Everything,
To write

And I regain my strength
My armor
My sword

And keep the demons at bay,
At least for a time

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