Sober Thoughts

[2.1]

"Go-karting nice choice Liam." Louis complemented while they waited for their food.

They had both been quiet. Louis wasn't sure if he should be the one to speak or what. He wanted Liam to speak up and say something, anything. But Liam had been quiet. It was as if he wanted to speak but hesitated. Liam just remained quiet.

"Thanks. I thought you might enjoy it since you're kinda into racing." Liam wasn't sure what to say. They were sitting down trying to eat a pizza.

"Yeah, it was nice. Thanks." Louis said. It had to be the first time that he didn't know what else to say.

"Louis, I'm sorry. I'm just—I don't know, I'm adjusting? Like are you actually having fun or is this crap?"

"The date was nice Liam. Now, it's just awkward. You don't want to talk. I'm trying here."

Louis wasn't angry but he was frustrated. They were mates. This shouldn't be a thing, they should be able to talk like before. Liam would talk to him. Maybe Liam never got too personal but it was something.

"Maybe I should forget that this is a date." Louis face dropped and Liam panicked.

"Shit! That's not what I meant to say Lou. It's just that I'm overthinking it and fuck! You're one of my best mates. It's shouldn't be awkward to talk to you."

"Then why is it? Shouldn't it be easy because we know each other?" Louis rolled his eyes.

Liam looked at Louis. He knew Louis was right but it wasn't that easy. It wasn't.

"It's maybe because I never expected to be attracted to you. I've always dated girls. I wish it was simple but it's not." Liam was trying to be real without hurting Louis' feelings.

"Are you mad at me for making you feel this way? Are you angry with me? What are you Liam? If you don't say anything how can I know? How can I help you?" He raised his voice slightly. Louis wanted to understand Liam but he wasn't making it easy.

"You wouldn't know. I don't even know."

"Then why date me?" Louis asked as if he was a bother to Liam.

"Because I love you. That I'm sure of. It's just the rest of it I can't quite figure out."

Liam softened up. He knew he loved Louis but not to what extend. It scared him. He wanted to know what he was feeling before explaining himself. It was hard when he had mixed emotions.

"I love you, too. Maybe you need time. That's what you need." Louis said barely audible.

"I don't. All I need is time with you babe. I'll be better. Just give me time."

It was his promise to Louis to figure his shit out. Louis understood it. That's why Louis half smiled and nodded in agreement. They had to try.

{a/n}
January 29, 2016