Chapter 1

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I woke up, I wish I didn't have to wake up. Reaching over to my docking station, I turned on one of my 'bad day' songs, this one just so happened to be 'Asleep' by The Smiths. I loved it and hated it at the same time- I wish someone would sing me to sleep, so I could peacefully fade away into nothingness. Knocking at my door, the neighbours probably.

I hadn't had a chance to meet them properly yet, not that I wanted to anyway; they'd most likely be stuck up idiots like all the other guys I know, or knew. I knew that they were guys (and that there were two of them) because if they were girls, they'd have tried to meet me and mingle... stupid word. People should just stay away, from me at least.

I turned my music up and lay back in bed, hoping that the music would become a reality...

Don't wake me up in the morning,

Cos' I will be gone,

Don't feel bad for me,

I want you to know,

Deep in the cell of my heart,

I really want to go.

I gradually fell asleep again while the annoying sun shot through my window- I couldn't be bothered to awaken just to close the blinds. I had a dream, a dream I'd rather not have had, about when I was younger-back in school- when my hatred for 'being' began...

"She's stupid, and ugly, no friends whatsoever!" a guy, Joe, snickered to his friends, acting as if I wasn't there, right behind him. "What a loser, right?!" He was 'a popular' and what a popular thinks, everyone thinks. Suddenly, he turned and started asking me for help,

"Oi, you, there, Mae! Stupid! Look at me! should I sign out of Ted's ask.fm account or keep onto his details and do... naughty deeds?!" I unwillingly looked to Ted, another arrogant popular, and was shocked to see him nearly in tears, his ugly and harsh features almost seemed vulnerable. I told Joe to give the phone back and log out of Ted's account- Ted began looking at me weirdly and giving me a slightly creepy smile.

"Ha, you thought that we'd like you if you helped me, gullible loner!" Ted sneered.

"People I hate, one, you" he pointed to me, "one, you" he pointed to Ted's girlfriend, "and one, I hate the school" the boys laughed like idiots, they were idiots.

I decided it was time to stand up for myself- bad move. "Reasons why you're plain stupid, one, you said 'one' three times. Two, why would you do that to Lila, Ted, you're an awful boyfriend! And three-" Joe cut me off with a harsh slap.

"Shut up, biatch" he whispered at me, he didn't even say insults right! I thought.

"You do know that if you do hack Ted's account, everyone will know it was you and hate you, all of your so-called 'friends' will disappear!" I shouted back, no longer caring if the supply teacher overheard our conversation.

"Oh yeah, and who would tell? You? Like you did with Ted! YOU NEARLY GOT HIM F-ING EXPELLED YOU RETARDED FREAK! Oh, and by the way, who are your friends, Mae?" I felt stupid and alone, no-one else was helping me, just gawping like dazed goldfish. Tears poured down my face and I asked to go to the bathroom. As I was leaving, a crumpled piece of paper hit my back, it said 'stupid, pathetic, ugly, c**t, from Joe. PS kill yourself'. That was when I burst into tears and ran from school.

I woke up, tears steaming down my face, I hated that dream- it just had to be long, stretched out and unnecessarily detailed in every moment. Gosh, I hate my life. It seemed that I had been either screaming or crying REALLY loud as there was another knocking at the door, had they ever left from when I heard it earlier or were they worried? I didn't care, I wanted them gone. Slowly edging towards the door, I rolled down my sleeves to cover my arms and grabbed a cup 'of tea' from last night to make myself seem more casual.

I hadn't realised that my makeup that I never scrubbed off was all over my face, worsened by tear marks, outlining my flaws. If it was casual I was going for, then I really shouldn't have opened the door, yelled and then slammed it shut. But I did.

I put the mug in the sink and managed to clean my face of grime before trudging back to my bed, the knocking came again, louder than before.

Quickly, I stormed over to the door and opened it, a big fake smile on my face. "Hello, erm..." I couldn't say any more as I examined the boy in front of me. He wore a stupid, multi-coloured shirt, jeans, he had a weird hat on with dangly bits and had an 'emo' hair cut.

"I heard screams, are you okay?" I instantly recognised his voice from somewhere and froze before slamming the door in his face.

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