Pokémon Creepypasta A to Z

Poliwhirl

People often ask me what my favorite Pokémon is. I always tell them, "Pikachu!"

But Pikachu isn't my favorite Pokémon. My favorite Pokémon is Poliwhirl.

I haven't lied about it for a long time, but I guess there's a good reason for that. I used to lie a lot, but I'm better now. Besides, everyone always thinks Pikachu is my favorite, and I'm tired of the questions and surprise I got all the time when I was honest. Now, I just don't tell people. But I'm telling you.

I first encountered Poliwhirl when Dad took me fishing. See, Dad really likes sports, and fishing was one of his old pastimes. Right away, I knew I had to have one. I loved the spiral on its belly and how it could make slime to keep itself alive outside of water.

Dad kept the Poliwhirl he caught, and we played together a lot. I'd fall asleep after a while, but we had fun when I was awake.

It was the spiral on its belly. I loved that spiral, and how deep and mysterious it was. I liked watching it. It went on and on and on, like it was going into Poliwhirl's body. I wanted to stick things in there to see if they'd go in the spiral, but never did, in case it really did go inside Poliwhirl's body and I'd hurt it. It was a silly thing to think, but I was really little back then.

No, no... I must lose this childish demeanor. While I am a child, during my journey, I've given up all rights to childhood. One who has seen the horrors produced by men cannot rightly be called a child, and cannot claim innocence under the guise of childish ignorance. I'm sure you think me ignorant, even now, or perhaps you think me some sort of genius? I can't tell you what goes on in your own mind, but while gifted with the genius of childhood, I'm burdened by the weight of adult issues. In the end, I suppose you can call me average, a person in my own right, neither child nor adult.

I suppose I should introduce myself! Forgive me, I'm a bit scatterbrained. My name is Satoshi Tajiri. I have been told I share a name with the man who created this world, but I know nothing of that. I'm twelve years of age, and I grew up in Pallet Town, a quiet, fairly new town in Kanto. I've loved Pokémon my whole life. I got my first Pokémon, Charmander, a year ago. While my birth name is, as I've said, Satoshi Tajiri, I'm far more well-known under the name my followers have given me – "Red".

Ah, I understand you're a little frightened, now that you're sure of my identity, as you've no doubt heard the tall tales spun by those who've misjudged my actions. "Spun" is an appropriate choice of verb, as these tales have been spun just like the whirling mass that led up to my current predicament. You must understand, I was once a curious boy. While once-famous for my curious venture into the dangerous tall grass outside my hometown, I'm sure my more recent curiosities that have come to light are of far greater importance to you.

Ah, but I forget myself! You must think me to be terribly off-track, if not insane, hm? I apologize for my tangent, but I figured it was best to introduce myself before telling you what you want to know.

That Poliwhirl is my favorite Pokémon is perhaps the most important piece of information I can tell you. Forgive me, my writing skills are sub-par, and I cannot write this piece to give emphasis to the important without up and saying what is important. Poliwhirl is crucial to what I am about to tell you.

As I grew up with this Poliwhirl, I found myself more and more attracted to the symbol on its belly. My childish thinking, that the spiral was physical swirling into Poliwhirl's body, was not far-off at all. You see, the blue-black spiral markings on Poliwhirl are actually its innards. Its intestines. I've had to dissect many species in order to better my understanding of them, and I can only conclude that Poliwhirl's digestive tract is the most unique I've encountered. The intestines themselves are tucked neatly behind a smooth, skin-like membrane. This membrane is, like your own skin, semi-permeable and sensitive to changes in environment. It is almost translucent in the areas where its entrails show, and even closer inspection reveals that the organs have their own distinctive, uneven shapes where food is digested.