Chapter 14

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LIMSS 14

Warning: Talk and thoughts of self-harm, much crying of protagonist, emotional confussion, anger, and possible feels.

Puppet: Lyrics are not mine and please enjoy the chapter.

“Hello”- song

“Hello”- talking

‘Hello’- Thinking

It was the day after the Host club’s Christmas party and I was lying awake on my bed. Coming home after the party was very interesting, I decided to stay in the horrible thing called a dress till I got home because I had absolutely no idea how to remove make up. Thankfully dad was up and he helped me get it all off my face. Now I’ve locked myself in my room because I feel sick, not sick to my stomach, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Running a hand through my muddy brown hair I rest my arm over my eyes and bite my bottom lip, ‘Damn it, why?’ I asked myself in frustration, ‘why am I feeling like this? Why do I just want to curl into a ball and cry? Why does my chest hurt so much?’ small tear weld in my eyes as I rolled on my stomach and shoved my pillow in my face letting the soft material absorb the salty liquid leaking from my seemingly crimson eyes.

“Harou” Ranka asked from the other side of my door, “Haruhi and I are gonna go out for a couple hours, will you be fine on your own?”

“Yeah” I shouted trying to keep my voice as level as possible

“Alright, see you later!”

“Right… Bye…” I whispered sadly. Despite the fact that father and I have become friendlier with each other; I still can’t help but feel so much loneliness. Clenching my eyes shut I reach out next to me and grab my iPod, popping the buds in my ears.

~~

So many songs had passed and I stare blankly up at my celling. Getting out of bed to get something to eat I continued to listen to my music when a certain song struck my ears.

“Assuming, joking, spreading rumors, I can hear them so loud

They're gonna really make my whole mind wanna explode.

No matter what I do and ever try and wanna become,

This fighting fantasy”

The songs name was called ‘Abstract Nonsense’ and I could relate to every word, except maybe the gender part.

“My ears are picking up another kind of overused talk

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