Pernicious 2 (punk h.s.)

one

The rain had seeped through my clothes, making my skin rise in bumps. Most of me was covered by the only umbrella I had with a broken latch. The wind made it harder to grip and my fingers are too small and weak. They turn pink and white as I try. The wood quickly darkened on the empty side of the bench as it began to pour harder. Looking out to the pond all I could see was the ducks in their perfect formation, lined up peacefully. The rain didn't seem to phase them. And all I could think was how perfect the ducks were. They stayed together never breaking their form. Never trying to leave each other's side. It was like...it was what they were suppose to do. They didn't need to be told and didn't need to be forced. They did it because they wanted to.

"They're beautiful aren't they," she says looking down at me with the brightest blue eyes. I admired her beauty. It wasn't overwhelming to most but definitely not unnoticed. It was perfect to me.

"Yeah, I guess," I shrug turning my gaze back to the pond that continued to be disturbed by the rain. I start to get more frustrated with this stupid polkadot umbrella I'm about ready to chuck it on the ground. She notices my frustration immediately. I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions at the moment.

"Can I tell you something," she ask ever so politely.

I give her a small nod to continue. I was interested in anything she had to say. Though most times I never understood what she meant by the things she said. She would always talk in words I didn't know and metaphors I didn't quite understand. She walked closer to my side, covering me with her bigger and unbroken umbrella. I finally stop my struggle and just sit.

"One day...one day I will be gone. And you are going to be by yourself. But that's okay," she quickly reassured me, "cause you're strong. And you're independent and all the great things a girl needs to be for herself. You're a fighter. You always have been. You're strong when you need to be. And you are who you need to be when you have to be. So hear me now, and hear me good, there are things in this world, bad things, terrible things. And you're going to face them one day. It may be my fault or the universes fault or sometimes your fault, but you will have to protect yourself. I know you'll be able to do it on your own. Here, take this," she pulls off the silver locket around her neck.

She then takes my hand in hers, placing the necklace gently in my palms, closing my hands tightly. When she lets go, I open my hand to get a better look at it. The design on the heart is twisted and turned, random dots that seem to follow a pattern. It was truly amazing.

"You will wear this forever. Long after I've gone. And you will remember that the only love that exist, the only love that is real, is the love between a child and parent. The only love is the love I have for you. Everything, every other type of love doesn't compare. It never has. It never will." She sheds a tear that falls down her freckled cheek quickly. She wipes it way with her hand and tries not to make a big deal out of it.

"Do you understand me baby?" She gets eye level with me, all hope in her gleaming ocean eyes. They were calling for me.

I smile lightheartedly, nodding to her and saying, "Yes mommy. I understand. I love you." I then grab her hand tightly in mine and she returns the grip. I know she'll love me, she always will. And I'll lover her. Cause that was the only kind of love out there. The love a family. The way dad has been, it doesn't seem like he's much like a dad. But I love him. Though I never told him. Before today, I was never explained to about love and what it is. I still was unclear. But she told me it didn't exist between other people. Which means she didn't love dad.

But that was long ago. That was the only time I ever said those words. That was the first and only time I said that. It came out as a sort of whisper. At the time I knew I meant it. At the time I knew what it was, because she had told me. It was small and it was sort of inaudible under the pouring rain. But I said it. And I hope to god she heard me. I really do.

I lean forward, gasping for air and feeling hot drops of water against my skin. I immediately start coughing erratically. The minimal clothing I wore glued on me. My throat was scratchy and dry. The brown hair I've grown to tolerate clinged to my skin on the sides of my cheeks. I had been holding onto something. I was trying to fit together the pieces while trying to stabilize myself. Someone's hand was in mine. Just like in my dream. I didn't realize I was holding it so tightly. I didn't know I had grabbed something at all. My chest rose and fell and my heart rate began to quicken. Eyes wide as I stare at a dirty pink tiled wall. It was unfamiliar and I felt scared yet safe.

Then, I decide to look at who's hand I had grabbed. And there he was. Curls damp, clothes pressed against him like it were his own skin. His eyes were the thing that stood out to me the most. The emeralds had red all around them, as if they were crying. He must've been. But they were bright. They were bright for the only thing I could think of. That I was alive. I couldn't believe it myself. I didn't even know how or why but I was.

"Rose," he said.

The adrenaline I just had had vanished as I fall against his chest. My breathing had slowed down and my eyes had shut automatically. The tiredness I felt had once again consumed me. I didn't want it to but it did. I didn't fight it because I knew I needed it.

"Y-You came back. You came back for me Harry." I whispered to him with my slow but heavy breaths.

His grip tightens around me, as if he thought I was safer in his arms. I wasn't sure if I was but it felt good. To be in warmth. To be at all.

"Of course I did. I always will." That was the last thing I heard before the tiredness I felt came back to consume me. And I let it. I didn't need to fight. Cause right now, I felt safe. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Not at the home, not at the North, not anywhere. I remember having this feeling once before. When it was just me and her. She was the only one who could make me safe. My mom.