Pernicious 2 (punk h.s.)

four

This is one of my favorite chapters ;)

Songs for this chapter:

Act Like You Love Me - Shawn Mendes

Never Say Never - The Fray

Say You Love Me - Jessie Ware

Disintegration - Jimmy Eat World

Rose.

I had woken up to nothing. Nothing, no one. At all. I had realized that they were gone. First she was gone, my mom was gone for the longest time. And now my dad was gone. They didn't have brothers or sisters or anything like that. It was just us, always. But now, it was just me.

I sit up, in less pain than before but still recovering from my time in that hell hole. I could still hear Alexander's harsh voice in my head. Telling me I would destroy Harry. Telling me he knew I could never love him. I didn't want him to be, but he was right, I suppose.

I walk to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and prepare what I'm going to tell everyone. I had a plan. In my head it was the right plan. I just hope I could go through with it. I finished brushing my teeth and slip on new clothes. I felt I had to look a little well dressed when I told them my plan. Some type of closure for them and myself. I put on a large multicolor flannel, and loose jeans with black converse. I had decided to not do my makeup and leave my hair loose in its curls. I look at myself, taking a deep breath and fixing my eyes close. It was time. I knew it was.

I looked out the window, seeing it was already dark. I was a sleep for longer than I thought. It was understandable though. I had been in hell for what felt like a lifetime but I was out. Catching up on what sleep I missed. There were days were I was up forever doing my best to escape. I would keep my eyes wide open so I would never miss a chance. The thought of that place sent chills down my spine.

I open my room door, walking down the stairs as I hear the abundance of conversations being held over a large table of dinner. Liam and Jeremy were back. Jeremy with his arm in a sling and Liam with a patch on his shoulder that was visible through his white t-shirt. They were laughing about something Niall had said. Everyone except Harry who was sitting at the far end next to Jack. He had been staring down at his plate the entire time. Not moving a muscle. Just keeping his arms crossed over his chest and a blank face.

I stepped closer so everyone could now recognize that I was here. They all looked up with silence that grew on conversation. I weakly smiled at everyone. They didn't know how to react to me. I understood that.

"You're looking better," Bella said with a warm smile.

"I feel a lot better." I say and somewhat mean. Physically I am feeling better but mentally, I'm not too sure.

"You slept for hours and we didn't want to wake you. Did you sleep well," Jane ask from her husbands side before taking a sip of tea.

"Yeah I did, thanks. How are you guys feeling," I refer to the boys. When I look closer, Niall and Louis hand some serious bruising and cuts on them.

"We're men," Louis replied.

"Yeah. Macho men. We can take a couple scrapes," Niall added.

Everyone chuckled at their comical act. I even huffed a small laugh. Everyone but Harry had laughed along. I can't say I expected him to.

"Sit over here sweetheart," Jane tells me.

I obeyed her and sat next to her and Ana. But I was across from Harry. There was a slight uncomfortable feeling. I knew everyone felt it and it wasn't just me. But during dinner we all tried to suppress it and continue with conversation. I did as little talking as usual. I merely observed like I alway did. Before, when high school started I hadn't talk to people but I was interested in the way they worked. The way the spoke to each other and sometimes didn't mean what they said or said what they felt. I could tell they didn't mean what they said by the way they said it and their body language. It was interesting and I was fascinated by human nature. It sounds weird but when you can't be a part of something all you could do is observe it.