Pernicious 2 (punk h.s.)

five

Rose.

The morning after was bitter cold. I hadn't gotten a chance to close the window. After Harry left I couldn't even bring myself out of the room. I just sat on the couch, sobbing the night until I fell asleep with the thick couch blanket over me. I didn't understand why I felt so angry with myself. I guess it was because I never wanted to hurt Harry the way I did but he knew, deep down, as well as I that we can't be together. It doesn't do either of us any good and I won't let him keep saving me. I couldn't let him keep saving me. It wasn't right, nor was it fair. I had to let him go.

The fire had crackled lightly as it died with the subtle blows of the wind. It had gotten smaller through the night I guess considering how undersize it was initially. The wind was beating the dry tears on my face and I could bare it much longer. I wrap the blanket around me and muster up what little strength I had to walk to the window behind the stairs and close it.

After it shuts, I feel a sort of worry over me. Maybe it was everything just hitting me. It was one in the afternoon and the rain had continued its abrupt nature. The pavement was dark, as were the brick buildings of the city. There were few but enough to see what effect the rain had on them. My view consisted mostly of tall over designed glass buildings.

I bring myself to the kitchen, grabbing my purse and the bag with my bathroom necessities, heading up to my room. The stairs sort of take the breath out of me, but what takes more out of me is seeing my fathers room door open. I had almost forgotten he was gone. I didn't want to admit it to myself I guess. Or maybe my mind wasn't ready to use those words just yet. I hadn't made my peace with he idea quite yet. I drop on of the bags and close his door, then pick the bag back up and enter my room.

It had been so long that I hadn't been here. The last time I was here, Harry was telling me to pack my things and run from the South with him. It was to keep me safe. It was so he could keep me safe. It's funny how that works though. However if I stayed here by myself I would have been dead for sure. I have the North to thank for that.

Dropping the blanket of on my bed, I then head for the bathroom. It still had one of my many black towels on the floor along with a few misalliance clothes that I had forgotten about. I turn on the light and look in the mirror to capture my reflection. When I stared, the bags under my eyes were dark and red, the rim of my eyes were puffy and I felt my skin squeeze on the areas my dry tears found a home to. It put a heavy weight on my face and body. It showed how week I actually was. I had always been weak and that never changed really. I had some acts of courage and bravery but that was nothing compared to how much of a jellyfish I was. No matter where I was I was always the same useless person I was.

I pull out my essentials and brush my teeth quickly. I had plenty to do today and I had no idea where to start. I could start with my school, or I could start with my father. But I honestly had no idea how to handle those situations at all. I had always taken care of myself but now was the time for me to actually start acting like an adult and handling responsibilities that a grown up would. I would need some guidance though, from someone that knew how to handle situations.

I finish brushing my teeth and doing my best to cover the tiredness imprinted on my face. My dark make up was put back on my eyes, sort of comforting to me. I tried to cover up the bruise that was beginning to look a heal. I made it look small enough to seem like I had hit a door or fell on something. I decided not to change my outfit and just throw on a jean jacket with white fur on the color. It complimented my outfit quite nicely. I reach for my mom's necklace that was always left on my neck, accidentally grabbing two chains. I scrunch my eyebrows for a moment confused as to why I had two necklaces on. When I pull it out from my button jacket, I suddenly remember. The pendent Harry had given me. I never returned it after our argument or even bothered to take it off. The item brought a strong pressure to my chest. I couldn't put my finger on this feeling, so I put it back in my jacket and try to get passed it.