Well, here I am, again. My family just left after moving me in. Another new apartment. Another new school year. Same old me.
I am starting my third year of college tomorrow, and I honestly couldn't be more eager to begin my new classes. I have finally finished my general education classes and now, I am free to take classes for my psychology major. Psychology is just so interesting to me, maybe it's because it helps me figure out why my head is so messed up. Anyway, classes are the only thing I look forward to when coming to school. I have no friends & no job, and classes somewhat distract me from my depression. They keep my mind focused on my future. I have my mind set on becoming a therapist. I love helping people and I feel like I can relate to every person in some way. Psychology is most definitely something that makes me happy, but there is something that I love even more, and that is my favorite band, One Direction. I realize that it's quite silly for a twenty-year-old to be this obsessed with a boyband, but I honestly don't even care anymore. I have been a fan since their first album was released, and I have fallen deeper in love with them every minute since. My favorite member of the band has been and always will be Harry. I honestly couldn't even explain why, there is just something about him. I feel connected to him in some sort of way. Ugh, what I wouldn't give to meet him and tell him how much he means to me, how much I love him. Perhaps he would feel the same way about me. I shake the thought from my head. Of course that would never happen. He is so perfect, and I'm just me.
I drift away from my thoughts and I look at all of my things. There is SO much to unpack, so I better get started. I turn on some music (One Direction, of course) and I get to work. I spend the entire evening arranging my room until I realize it's eleven o'clock. I should be getting to sleep soon because my first class starts at nine in the morning. I get ready for bed, then spend what feels like forever trying to fall asleep. My anxiety keeps me awake wondering how my semester will be. I'm sure it will be fine. Maybe this could finally be my year.
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Before I knew it, my first week of classes was already over. I absolutely love my classes, and all of my professors seem great. I return to my apartment and wonder how I'll spend the weekend. I've already finished my homework, so I have the entire weekend available. Well, there's some kind of concert on campus tomorrow, right? I could go with someone to that. Who are you going to go with? You have no friends here, my subconscious reminds me. Well, I could go to see a movie, or a restaurant? By yourself, again, my subconscious chimes in. Ugh, I don't care. I've gotten used to being my only friend, and I am totally fine with it. I can do anything I want to by myself. Nobody would even notice me anyway.
I decide on watching Netflix for the night. I scroll through the list of movies and end up choosing one of my favorite love stories - "The Notebook". I watch as Noah and Allie share such a beautiful, passionate romance, wishing one day maybe I can have one, too.
As I fall asleep, I think of what I could possibly do the next day. I decide to go to Disney World; I only live about an hour away, and I have a season pass, so why not? Except you have nobody to go with, my subconscious reminds me once again. Why must she always do that? Oh, well, I can just walk around Epcot for awhile, maybe get a bite to eat, and just relax. I close my eyes and dream about the day that lies ahead.
