A Thousand Tomorrows

Chapter 5

Luke never told anybody, but that morning he felt his heart shrivel up and die, all except the piece that belonged to Ben. His little brother look at Luke as he was Superman and Christopher Robin all rolled up into one. As the weeks passed, every morning was the same routine. Ben would get up and walk into Luke's room and stand by the bed.  

"Brother..." he patted Luke's shoulder. "It's a new morning." 

Cody would stir, blink his eyes a few times and find Ben standing there. "Yep buddy, it's a brand new morning  

"Is dad coming home today." 

Cody would grit his teeth and sit up some. "Not today, buddy. I don't think so." 

For a minute worry would cast shadows on Bens face. But the a grin would fill his and he'd make a funny chuckling sound. "That's okay, cause know why, brother" 

"Why is that?" 

"Cause I have you brother. I will always have you, right."  

Luke would hug him around the neck. "That right buddy. You will always have me." 

The two of them were inseparable. Ben followed him around the house, wait on him when he would come home from school. He didn't talk as clear as all the other kids and had puffy bunches under his eyes. But he was still the happiest kid Luke has ever seen. He loved with abandon and after a few months he walked into Luke's room and didn't ask when daddy would come home.  

That very same day, Ben worked his way into the deepest part of Luke's heart. He still wasn't sure what was exactly wrong with Ben, he had a feeling that there wouldn't be many people in Bens life. If their own dad didn't want to be in his little brothers life, then maybe no one else would.  

No one but Luke. What ever else happened, Luke would love Ben and maybe that's all he would ever love. He had no use for his mother; she was grown up the only one with power to keep his father gone. Instead she stood there, on the grass and told him to go. Told him to go and never come back.  

The rest of that year Luke would wait until Ben was asleep, then he'd creep up to his room without saying good night to his mother. He'd lie on the bed and stare at the wall. Sometimes tears would come, sometimes not. Always he would start at the beginning.  

Hearing his dad talk to his mom about leaving, about not wanting to be with Ben. Then seeing his dad with a suitcase and following him out into the front yard and watching him head for the yellow cab. "Goodbye, son. Goodbye."  

The story would through his head over and over again, playing on a blank wall by his bed. Most of the time Liz didn't ask about why Luke went to bed so early or stared at wall for at least an hour. Why he never told her good night or what he was feeling or doing? 

But every once in a while she would try.  

Luke remembered the first night his mom tried to talk to him. It was the next spring, she opened the door and took a loud breath. Then moved a few steps towards him. "I hate that you hide up here, Luke. You're not the only one still hurting." 

"Yes, I an!" Luke turned over at say up on the edge of the bed. His heart skittered around his chest. "Ben barely remembers him." 

"I miss him, too" she sat next to him and placed her hand on his back. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her voice was tired. "I loved him, Luke. It's not my fault he left us." 

"It is your fault! Can't you see that, you told him to leave and never come back." Luke closed his eyes and remembered his father leaving. When he opened them the anger inside his was bursting to get out. He took a deep breath. "You told him to go!"