Who Am I

Chapter 10

Who Am I - Chapter 10

What if.

Two words that couldn’t do any harm, put together and they will haunt you.

What if I would have stayed?

What if I didn’t get married?

What if I didn’t cheat?

In life, we need to live to the fullest so we don’t look back and ask what if. My father didn’t do that, my father did cheat, he is tearing apart this family every time he comes inside, every time he talks he starts and argument, someone yells, cries. More importantly someone leaves. I did leave. After that argument with my father, I picked myself up, waited to see if I could hear him downstairs. Which I couldn’t. So I walked out the door. Not that anyone noticed or cared.

I walked; I walked for miles and for a good hour. I didn’t know where I was going; I didn’t have a goal in mind I just need to get things off my mind. It did some good, walking around; not being around home, not listening to the silence that owned the house. I didn’t go far, I went around our block many times, and I gave up after counting to twenty.

I walked back into the stillness, the quiet. I creaked my way back up stairs and into my room. I switched into my pyjamas, curled into my sheets and started at my ceiling until my closed.

***

I woke up to a scream.

A terrified scream.

I woke up abruptly, throwing off all my sheets and tracking down the sound.

The sound landed my into Erica’s room.

“Why are you screaming?” I asked her irritated. She was standing in the centre of her room, hands to her face and looking at me with a tear prickling down her cheek. I got worried and put my voice back to its normal volume. “What’s wrong?” I asked concerned and went towards her. Immediately she wrapped her arms around me.

Between cries she told me, “Ben. Broke. Up. With. Me. For. Another. Girl.” I rolled my eyes and patted her back.

“I bet she’s not important. I need a ride to school and I bet you need to get to the studio?” I asked her, trying to change her mind. But she keeps crying.

“He is dumping me for a slut!” She protested. I keep patting her back; I looked over her shoulder and look to see the time.

7:30.

I let go of our embrace. Erica had her head in her hands, I gave her a quick speech on how she can and will do better. She nodded in return.

“I mean I will just hook up with someone at the party, and then it will show Ben.” She smiled. She began to walk away; I grabbed her arm and spun her around.

“What party?” I asked cautiously.

“Toms. Didn’t you hear? I mean,” she looked at me then felt guilty. “You could come if you wanted to.” She shrugged.

“Maybe.” I told her quickly, and then I asked her. “Can I borrow something for school today?” Her face brightens’ up. I figured it would. She immediately starts digging around in her closet. She pulls out a pair of jeans and off the shoulder shirt. I grabbed them quickly and changed, Erica passed me a pair of boots, which I put on rapidly. I had less then an hour until school started. And I’ve never been late, never.

When I got down stairs I did an observation, to see if my parents were around. They weren’t. In a rush I grab a box of cereal, a bowl and pour it.

“Do you need a drive?” Erica called out as she came down the final step. She peered around the corner in a baggy sweater and tights. Her shimmering hair wrapped into a tight bun.