Messed Thoughts

What they see

Chapter 1

Everybody turned their heads as I walked in my label office because of the noise my boots were making. I become uncomfortable each time I am going here. When I was finally in front of the secretary desk, I dared to remove my eyeglasses, I felt quite obligated even if I would prefer to not have to. After all, I need to speak with this woman who waits impatiently for people to come. She was generously smiling at me. When I see joyful persons, it always cheer me up.

"Good morning. I have an appointment at 10:00AM." I took a clear voice and I grinned back at her. She was probably my favorite secretary.

"Yes. We have already been waiting for you. Follow me please." When she said it, I wish I could have count how many teeth her smile was showing.

She stood up and left her desk to lead me in front of the room "D213", three floors above.
I thanked her then I pushed the door. Jim was here. I didn't see him since our arguing from yesterday. I was still angry on him. I could feel his eyes on me but if I looked back at him it would have been like he had won. Obviously there were other persons inside the room.

"Ah finally Devon arrived! She made a better performance than our previous meetings." A guy from the technical staff felt like he really had to mention about my difficulties to be on time for my schedule. I thought he was quite annoying before, but now I see him as really mischievous, definitely. He probably tried to make a joke but he only managed to annoy everybody present who made him death glares. It didn't took him too long to notice.

The production director coughed.

"Good morning. We all know the reason we are here. After all this time, we are ready to release the first biographic movie of Devon Faye !" Everybody clapped him, so I did. I wish I could roll my eyes. It was the more stupid idea ever, completely useless. No one care of the life of a nineteen years old girl. They represent me as if I achieved some big goals. I was ashamed and if I could make something to sabotage this crime against humanity, I would not hesitate a second.

"The pre-sales are starting tomorrow. For this occasion, we all have the privilege to be the first viewers of this masterpiece thanks to all our hard work!" he continued.

I just saw that a few range of chairs were installed in front of a massive screen.
We all started to look for a place and then we sat down. I was on the next to last line. I felt so bad for those who had to watch it. My cheeks became probably red. I bent my head as I imagined I could do a hole in the floor to escape of this ridiculous situation. They were already putting the disc. Because of the panic, I started to ridiculously sweat. My chair's neighbors were looking at me quite intricate. The situation was so tensed, I felt like I should have apologized to them. I was so nervous, even more when I remembered all the interviews that they were going to see. I definitely hate to watch them. They are personal, if people review them I am vulnerable.

The jingle started. I couldn't watch the screen, so I just stared at my boots. I was wearing my favorite ones. I have them already for years, a simple pair in black leather.
I put my head in my hands when I heard some segments from my concert. I sounded really awful, my ears were tearing.
My neighbors kept staring at me so I had no choice but to behave enchanted. I hardly tried to watch the documentary.

They began by retracing my career. I am still wondering after all these years, what potential did they see in me this day.
I have been scouted when I was fourteen years old, almost fifteen. I took part of my school choir and we had some basic representation at the end of the year. Apparently, my music teacher had recommended me to one of his close friends who was working in a local label. Quite unbelievable right. Between all the pupils of the choir, it had to happen to me. He made some propositions to my parents, they were really hard to convince, actually more flexible than a rock.
I always liked to sing. I won't say "it was my reason to live" or "since ever I knew it was my destiny" neither. In the interview that was displaying right now, I exactly told them "it just happened". Singing was just a hobby among a bunch of others. I managed to sign a contract a few months later. First I took all this thing as something funny, a good joke. My first label proved to be mediocre. I had to come there every weekends knowing I lived three hours away. It was a period where I was really exhausted. They made me register some horrible songs. The quality was really bad and I was really ashamed of it. They wanted me to release an album but I did my best to not make it come out. It was the time I become independent. Some children of my school managed to find out my occupation and started to bully me. Because of the pressure, my parents got me homeschooled. I started to have less friends and be quite isolated. With the help of the justice, we broke off the contract. I just thought my life was a failure at sixteen years old. Until one time, when I was shopping downtown with my mom, a man came and told us that I was really good looking, that I should absolutely take a look at their agency and if I could sing it would be an advantage. I was scared. When we came back home, I made some research and I concluded it was my only issue and I had nothing more to loose. They were based in Los Angeles. I just ran away. The first months were laborious. I did all the possible part time jobs to pay my pitiable rent. I struggled a lot but my new agency took care of me. They gave me singing lessons twice a week and encouraged me to write lyrics. Half a year later I was able to share good news to my family and not be ashamed to have left them anymore. I released my first album and the success simply followed. My path is probably my hardest thing to speak. It reminds me such dark times I wish I could forget.