I'm Lois Lane falling from a roof knowing Superman is dead

The Past

I read quotes where people state how beautiful it is when one moves on & become one with their brokenness, when they find the meaning to hardships, when they start believing in fate. But for me my brokenness is consuming me whole. It creeps in the night when I'm about to sleep, it resides in me & eats off of me slowly, very slowly & i, even after knowing what it wants to do, I give in. I can't seem to stop it or maybe I don't want to. Why? Cause I have no element of hope left in me anymore. The only thing I believed in is slowly ripping me to pieces. The word "hope" is nothing but just random letters put together. It's like instead of fixing myself,
I'm tearing myself apart 🙃