-Lucy's POV-
"tides will bring me back to you..." I
whisper while I lay on my bed. I have been staying in bed a lot lately since the break up. I actually loved him believe it or not, but I ruined it sadly. This is what I do, I like someone a lot, then I suddenly fall for them.. but a little bit too fast. Soon enough I push them away. I don't know why I push them away, but I do. I close myself up to them and never tell them anything. I broke up with him when I loved him because I didn't want him to see who I truly was and it just happened, I guess.
I have been sitting in bed for the whole summer already, and it's already July 20. Every day goes by slowly. I know I shouldn't feel bad because I broke up with him, but I really do, because I still love him. His name is Chad. He already moved on, and I'm glad that he did. Now it is just my turn and that wasn't going so easily actually.
I roll over and stare at my clock 4:36 A.M. it read and I groan out. I always wake up early since things ended, and I hate it. I over think things too much and I make myself sick. I'm depressed ever since my parents split up and no matter how many times my mom tells me, "honey, it's not your fault." I still blame myself over and over. I go to a therapist but it doesn't help because I don't open up to anyone at all. My mom makes me go because she thinks that it will help me get better, but it won't. I don't have friends only because I distance myself from people. My mom also hates this too because she wants me to have someone, even though she always tells me that I have her. I love my mom a lot, she gets me through everything and is always there when I'm sad, she understands me more than most people.
Even though it is early, I decide to take a shower and try to stop thinking too much. I get up and it's hard to walk to the bathroom because I barely have enough energy. I stare in the mirror and I hate what I see. My long wavy light brown hair is tied in a messy bun and my face is very pale. My once bright blue eyes now look sad and hopeless. I look away from my image and slowly take off my clothes and undo my bun. I turn on my shower on and wait for the water to get burning hot. I step underneath the burning hot water and a chill runs threw my body. I wash my hair and body and shut the water off. I brush out my knotty hair and throw it up into a bun. I go to my closet and pick out some leggings, black matte Doc Martins, and a white "Nothing Lasts Forever" shirt.
I decide that today will be the end of this. I'm no longer going to sit around and cry, I'm going to go out and make myself happy. I go to my kitchen and make some tea and pour it into a to-go cup and grab an apple and start to eat it on my way out to my car. As I shut my door and lock up, I think to myself that maybe this ended for new things to fall together. I unlock my car and get in, I suddenly hear "Not The American Average" start to play and I sing along as I drive off to nowhere in particular.
Today, things will change... for the better.
