Tower Tales

Damsel NOT In Distress.

The prince grunted as he hauled himself through the tower window. As soon as he was inside, he flashed a cocky smile and started, "Fair maiden, I have come to rescue you!" Then he noticed that there wasn't anyone else in the tower. Instead, there was a sheet of paper on the table, which he picked up. It read, "I'll be back in ten minutes, Diana. We're out of lambs meat."

Just then, he heard a woman whistling. A flash of black shot past the window and he stuck his head out of the window, only to see a large black dragon touch down on the ground and morph into a black haired woman. She stood in front of a woman with snow white hair, who was holding a large wicker basket. The black haired woman morphed back into a dragon and the white haired woman climbed on the dragon's back, then held on tightly as the dragon took off, flying towards the window. As the prince stumbled back in surprise, the white haired woman slid in through the window, then stepped aside as the dragon squeezed through. No one noticed him as, morphing back into a human, the black haired woman asked gruffly, "Essa, where were you?" The white haired woman, Essa, replied, "Diana, I was- Who the hell are you?" The last part was directed at the prince, who was staring at the women in bewilderment. He snapped out of his trance and answered pompously, "I am Prince Philip, of-". Essa cut him off, groaning, "Great, another prince." She set her basket on the table, continuing, "Listen, Prince Philip, I don't need rescuing, I don't need a hero, and I definitely don't need a husband. So I'll make a deal with you: I'll make dinner, we'll eat, you'll leave. Or, if you want to be difficult, I can just let Diana eat you. Your choice." Prince Philip nervously eyed Diana, who smiled wickedly as she licked her lips, then weighed his choices and announced haughtily, "The dragon holding you captive has brainwashed you." Essa giggled, "Dude, I came here of my own free will. And Diana is in no way holding me here. She couldn't if she tried." Diana rolled her eyes, which Essa completely ignored, and began going through the cabinets, looking for something. She asked in her gruff voice, "Essa, do we have any salt?" Essa pulled the cloth off the basket and pulled out a container of salt, tossing it to Diana, who caught it without looking up. Prince Philip watched in shock as Diana opened the container, pouring all the salt into her mouth, then swallowing it. Essa rolled her snake-like red eyes, then smacked Diana's hand away from the basket. Picking up the basket, Essa queried, "So, Prince Philip, have you made your decision yet?" Prince Philip decided, "I'll take your deal." Essa smiled and began preparing ingredients. Diana leaned against the wall, musing, "You know, it's a shame I can't eat him. He looks very meaty." Essa shot her a look and scolded, "Diana, do not eat him." Then, with a smirk, she added, "Unless he comes back. Then I hold him down while you feast." Prince Philip, who hadn't heard their conversation, asked Essa, "What is a fair maiden such as yourself doing living with a dragon?" Essa breezily replied, "I like my privacy. Plus, villagers are annoying. Always trying to kill me and such. Here, I don't have to deal with them." Prince Philip's eyebrows lifted as Essa pulled a chunk of raw, bloody meat out of her basket and tossed it into a pan. Diana sneakily reached towards the basket, only to have her hand smacked away by Essa, who laughed, "Don't you dare. You already ate all the meat that I bought yesterday." She slid the pan into the oven and turned back to Diana, who was peering into the basket.

An hour or two later, as Prince Philip tried his hardest to woo her, Essa sniffed the air and got up, checking the meat. Then she pulled it out of the oven and called, "Food is ready." Diana bolted into the kitchen and plopped into a chair, almost knocking Prince Philip over. Essa laughed and dropped a hunk of meat on Diana's plate, then on Prince Philip's, then on her own. They ate, then Diana flew Prince Philip down onto the ground and sent him on his way.

A/N: Hello people! This is dedicated to MLPFanz, who convinced me to post this. Please comment what you think!