Chapter 1: The Arrival

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by mcandmlp

by mcandmlp

The sky seems to split into a huge star shape, exposing another, harsh, red, evil dimension. She remembers this place. They called it Nachg il quapqohrbx. Nobody truly knew how to pronounce it, so humans called it by it's common english name, which can be decoded using the bifid cipher. "Place of Nightmares." Danielle mumbles. A name to perfectly describe the location. It truly was a place of nightmares, home to Bill Cipher's odd squad: Eight-Ball, Key-Hole, Teeth, and many other strange creatures. Another flash of light and Bill Cipher appears in the flesh. He comes floating down in the middle of the city, just across the street from Danielle. All she can do is pray that he doesn't see her.

"AH, HA HA HA HA HA! NO PUPPET STRINGS CAN HOLD ME DOWN, SO PATIENTLY I WATCH THIS TOWN, THE ABNORMAL WILL SOON BE THE NORM, ENJOY THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM!" Bill calls out. He is pretty much just a yellow triangle with one eye. He is usually two dimensional, so his eyelashes are just lines coming out of his eye. He is most likely made of brick, but most likely has some otherworldly materials inside him. He has stick arms and legs, that limply dangle beside him, and has a very tall, skinny top hat that hovers just over his head. He floats over to a man, and stares at him until he notices. When the man looks up at him, Bill Cipher begins talking with a booming voice. "HEY, YOU! IF I THREW A TRIANGLE OUT OF A CAR AND THE CAR IS DRIVING AT 20 THOUSAND MILES PER HOUR AND WIND RESISTANCE IS A THING THAT EXISTS, HOW MANY CUPCAKES CAN PEDRO BUY WITH ONE HUMAN SOUL?" The man looks down at his papers, and starts whispering random math equations. "GULLIBLE!" The man looks back up at Bill, and gets a very defiant expression on his face, which Dannielle recognised as a bad move the moment he did it.

"But sir, I have a degree in algebra and mathematics! I am a certified engineer! I can solve something of this sort, and I am not gullible!" Bill seems offended for a split second, then he starts giggling, then quiet laughter, then full out laughing. Loudly.

"IT'S FUNNY HOW DUMB YOU ARE! HAVE A PRIZE! WHAT DO YOU WANT? MAYBE A HEAD THAT'S ALWAYS SCREAMING, OR DEER TEETH! I'VE GOT A SURPLUS OF THOSE, OR... OH OH OH! EVEN BETTER, HOW ABOUT INSTEAD I SHUFFLE THE FUNCTIONS OF EVERY HOLE IN YOUR FACE?" Bill snaps his fingers, and the man's ears go where his eyes should be, his mouth is replaced with one large, bloodshot eye, and and noses appear in the middle of where his ears should be. He screams a muffled scream, as he seems to no longer have a mouth, and collapses onto the ground. Bill turns around and catches a glimpse of Danielle, which is all he needed. "WELL, WELL, WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL-WELL! LOOK AT WHAT I'VE FOUND! MY OLD PUPPET! SO, HOW'S LIFE BEEN TREATING YOU? I HOPE TERRIBLY!" Danielle backs away a little, But Bill blocks her. 'HEY, NEXT TIME YOU SEE DIPPER, CAN YOU GIVE THESE EYEDROPS TO HIM AND TELL HIM THAT THEY DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE JALAPENO PEPPERS IN THEM?" Bill tosses Dani a small eyedrop bottle filled with a red liquid. Jalapeno peppers for sure.

"I see you sent me some letters," Dani said. "Quick question, why do you write in all caps?"

"BECAUSE I THINK IN ALL CAPS!" He responds. "Think in all caps. Is that even possible?" Dani thinks. "WELL, NEITHER YOU NOR ANYONE ELSE CAN STOP WHAT'S COMING! IT'S THE ODD-POCALIPSE!" Bill cipher's oddball team crashes down from the not so shiny diamond. They fall like cats all around Bill, each landing on however many feet they have. "HOW ABOUT WE GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" The creatures screech, or cheer, or just make noise in general. Bill laughs his hysterical laughter, and looks around, the faint glimmer of excitement in his eye. "HOW ABOUT WE START WITH EYE-BATS!" He snaps, and a bunch of giant bats with eyeballs as their bodies appear everywhere, turning people to stone. "AND MAYBE SOME BUBBLES OF PURE MADNESS!" He snaps again, and giant rainbow colored bubbles appear everywhere. It goes over one man, and when he comes back out, he drops to his knees, screams, and rips off his shirt, which Danielle did not need to see. "I COULD USE A CASTE OF SOME SORT." A large brick triangle rises, and starts floating up in the clouds. "THIS IS WEIRD MAGEDDON!!" Dani ducks down behind a fence, and takes shelter in an abandoned mall. "Bill can outsmart anyone, but I've never fell for his tricks. Will he fall for mine? It's worth a try." Dani thinks. She had a plan.