You Could Be Happy...

But our Strenths?

When you are lost in the emptiness you feel, it is easy to give up and forget the beauty because of the beast inside you. How can you win a fight against yourself? When you know every sore spot and scar and just how to bring yourself down? You feel so weak...
So helpless...
Hopeless.
But you are not weak. The sadness you feel is you. The emptiness inside is you. You no longer wish to be happy, because you don't feel like you deserve to be happy. It just feels so wrong that something so pathetic and worthless can feel joy. You believe thst you deserve nothing but the worst life has to offer, but you are wrong. By your own will you can lift yourself up, bring yourself out of a self pitying stupor. You have that strength. Once you believe you deserve happiness your whole mind starts to believe it. It can be hard, and sometimes we want to feel the pain that comes with our self hate. And that is ok. Life is a balancing act, and if you take the opportunity to experience the whole spectrum that is your emotions, you just might understand.
But if you ever do get lost in the crucible of your own mind, it is ok to get help. It is the greatest of heroes that have the greatest of flaws. But if you can't trust anyone else and feel as if nobody cares, then trust this laat bit of advice.

Make a promise to yourself. Despite how much you may hate yourself, you want to get better. You want to improve yourself. So make this promise and do anything you can to keep it. Survive. As long as you can stay true to yourself, no matter what anyone else says, no matter what the cost is, you can say you survived this long. Sure you know you will break it one day, but you will do your damndest to keep that promise because you are strong.