I'm a Mess

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        "Oh, I'm a mess right now. Inside out, searching for a sweet surrender, but this is not the end. I can work it out. How going through the motions, going through us, and oh, I've known it for the longest time. And all of my hopes, all of my own words, are all over written on the signs."
-Ed Sheeran

*****

        Nothing was going right. The plans kept failing. People had finally cleared the room, but that left the four adult superheroes, one of whom was evil, and the military officers coming up with said plans.
        Marsha didn't know what she was getting herself into when she agreed to be the "distraction". It was tougher than she'd imagined.
        Jack was raging now, though for some reason, his sense of humour still remained, even in the evilest version of himself. Though his humour was different, of course. The jokes that he made were sick and dry, they could chill you to the bone.
        But he was angry, his only goal was to kill. And right now, the one person who kept getting in his way was Marsha, therefore she was the one he currently was trying to destroy. Jack is good, everyone knows that. His powers are stronger than the others', he's wiser, he's had more experience. But as good as he was, Marsha still offered him a challenge.
        It pained her to use any sort of power against him, she was careful that she did nothing to hurt him, simply defended herself against his force. But she was getting tired, and the stress was getting to her. This was Jack Shepherd. And he was trying to kill her. That wasn't exactly easy to swallow.
        It was obvious that the battle was coming to an end, and at the moment, it could go either way. Jack didn't seem to notice the military officials coming towards him from behind with the power-restraints, but he was also quickly overpowering Marsha who appeared to be on the verge of tears all of a sudden.
        Jack took a step towards her, his eyes cold and red, she just winced and shut her eyes, she was done fighting back. And then it was all over.

*****

        "We've had hundreds of scientists working in the labs all day, don't worry Marsha, they'll come up with something, it would be impossible for them not to." Grant said in an attempt to console Marsha later that day. The battle was won about an hour ago. Jack had been successfully restrained by the handcuffs and he was now being held in one of the rooms that the kids refer to as "Time Out Rooms." Dylan had visited those rooms frequently, and Jack had visited those rooms even more frequently than Dylan when he was younger.
        Marsha could let out a sigh of relief knowing that Jack was fully restrained and no one was in danger. But she also felt terrible. That was Jack in there, he was alone and probably confused. She knew that he was evil, but she also knew that, like Grant had said, they would be able to get him back.
        She just hoped they could get him back soon, it's no secret that if the reversal process takes to long to come up with, Jack would more likely than not be destroyed.
        "Do you want to see him?" Grant spoke again, wondering if maybe this would make her feel better. She looked over at him with a confused look on her face.
        "You'd be perfectly safe. Not only is he in the handcuffs that make it impossible to use powers, but we also have him restrained to the wall so that he wouldn't be able to lash out at anyone. You could even go into the room if you wanted us to."
        Marsha agreed and headed off towards the rooms where he was being kept. But she was dreading their next confrontation. It wasn't Jack's strength or power that she was worried about right now, it was his words. She kept repeating to herself that he was evil, he doesn't mean anything he says. But she can't help but wonder if maybe he really does think these awful things, it just took him becoming evil for him to actually say them out loud.
        The guards took one look at Marsha and knew exactly who she was, they moved aside immediately and let her through.
        She stepped into the strange white room where Jack was chained to the wall. It looked barbaric, but she knew it was necessary. The room was so bright that it took her eyes a minute to adjust.
        She sighed as a memory came back to her, this was the very room that she first revealed to Jack that she too, had powers. That was when everything changed. She had become officially a member of the team. A part of the family.
        When Jack cleared his throat it brought her back to reality. She was subconsciously leaning against she walls, staring absent-mindlessly at the floor. Jack glared at her in a way that was so harsh, she could almost feel him staring right through her.
        She took a shaky breathe and gathered the courage to speak, she didn't sound like herself, but it was virtually impossible to be yourself on a day like today.
        "They're coming up with a solution. At the rate they're working in the labs, we should have a cure by the end of today, tomorrow morning at the latest."
        Jack looked at her with an expression she could only identify as disgust. "Who do you think you are to me? I'm not your friend, I'm not anything more than that, I'm not Jack Shepherd, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you. I'm evil, why can't you get that through your stubborn head? I'm not who I used to be anymore, I don't even know you."
        Marsha could have been hurt by what he'd said, and she was, but she managed to bottle up the hurt for now and experiment a little.
        "But, you do know me. You may not be the same person you were before, but you still have the memories, you said that yourself."
        "So what? Fine, I know you, you're Marsha Holloway, you're a psychologist with superpowers working at Area 52. You're right, I have the same memories, but that doesn't mean you're a part of my life in any way anymore."
        She raised an eyebrow and wondered how far she could take this. She knew that this was a serious situation, but she was a naturally curious person who wanted to know all the facts, so she continued. "What else do you remember about me?"
        Jack sighed, but he was apathetic. It didn't matter to him whether or not she knew what he remembered about him, so he began to recount the things he knew.
        "I know that you were wearing a green dress the day we first met, you're annoyingly stubborn and unrealistically optimistic, you love kids but you don't want any of you're own, you're allergic to blueberries, you have two sisters and a brother, you're just as clumsy as you are blind, and you love romantic gestures. You're only 5'4" so you wear high heels all the time, you freak out when people mention cutting your long hair, you have dimples when you smile, you hate spiders and heights, you have freckles but you hate them, you carry around your clipboard like it's a lifeline. I could keep going, but I'm done with this. I have all the same memories, I just don't feel."
        Marsha seemed intrigued as she looked at him. "So you remember details, but do you remember everything that you've done?"
        Jack sighed, he was getting really tired of this. "Of course I do. I remember my first couple days here when we hated each other, I remember the first dance when all of that faded, I remember the battle with my brother, I remember the time you freaked out at that sponsor, and the trip to the beach, and the mall, and the ski hill, and the banquet where I kissed you for the first time, and all the dances, and the play the kids put on, and Halloween, and the Christmas festival, and Dylan and Summer's wedding. I remember it all, do you understand yet?"
        He asked harshly. Marsha just stared at him for a while and left without saying a word.

*****

        It was quarter to ten that night when Dylan and Summer headed off to bed. Tucker and Cindy had been kept away from the dangerous situation all day, thankfully. They'd been in bed a while ago. Marsha had no intention of sleeping, she knew it would be almost impossible to fall asleep and if she did, she didn't want to imagine the terrible nightmares that could haunt her dreams tonight.
        She had just sat down on the couch where she and Jack usually sat in the lounge with a cup of tea when Dr Grant burst through the door. His face was red from running and he looked wide-eyed and frantic.
        Marsha stood, her immediate guess was that something was wrong. Maybe Jack had broken free of his restraints, or even worse, what if Laraby had followed through with what he said and killed him. Marsha felt herself grow pale as she looked at Grant expectantly.
        "They've found it. The scientists, they came up with a reversal serum for Zoom. Come quickly, they're giving it to him right now."
        Marsha ran down the hallway while Grant walked quickly behind her. She didn't know what to think. She didn't want to get her hopes up, knowing that, with her luck, the serum may not work.
        In her quick determination, Marsha arrived long before Grant did. Standing in the doorway, she looked flustered and frantic, her eyes were wide and her face was pale. To her left, an older woman in safety goggles and rubber gloves carrying an empty syringe. That meant that Jack must have already been given the serum.
        She hoped that it worked with every single piece of her, she'd never known what it was like to want something so bad until now. All she wanted was for Jack to be himself again.
        Everything around her seems to be moving in fast-forward. Scientists here and there, Laraby was behind her, she could tell from the sound of his booming voice. And straight ahead of her, was the only thing that seemed to be moving slowly. She saw Jack's restraints being removed by a scientist she recognized and realized that he'd been looking straight at her since she arrived.
        He rubbed his wrists where the handcuffs had been and began to walk towards her. Before long, they were in each other's arms and breathing sighs of relief.
        Jack felt the tension in his body release and Marsha could feel the colour coming back to her face. It worked. The serum worked. Jack hadn't killed anyone and Laraby didn't kill him. He's back, and everything was going to be okay.

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