The Club: Rising Up ✔- Completed (Old Version)

Bad Effects : Me

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins
if I let go of my pain
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

war is coming,
I can hear it in my heart
blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent,
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

-unknown

December 24. 3:20am

I was running down the hallway. I had to get away. Stupid stupid stupid me. This was going on for way to long. It had to be stopped one way or another. One thing my mom was right about is that you choose what happens next. And I sure was gonna make that choice now.

I stopped at the end of the hall and turned to face the person who was gonna end everything. The person I should be scared of but I wasn't. I couldn't let this happen no more. I couldn't resist my Destiny.

I looked at the knife being held. So shiny. The light from the hall way shimmered off of it. It was a gift from my mom. It's so crazy that she attached a note to it and it said kill yourself. I knew I wasn't gonna be the one doing it though.

The shadow of a person moved closer.

My hands shook and my brain was yelling move. I moved alright.

***

Two months earlier

I sat in front of my mirror gazing at my self. I had just finished wiping my make up off. I didn't like what I saw for the first time in years. My once beautiful appearance was replaced with something different. My skin color faded. My smile gone. My hair thinning and losing color. I honestly didn't like myself. Im have became something my mother told me I was.

She told me I was trash. I was something taking up space. I may be someone to some person out there but right now I was a nobody. I wasn't even Eva Destiny Harrison.

I stopped sniffing coke about two weeks ago. I had to. Mostly because I almost beat a girl to death. All because she touched my glasses. I was shocked by my actions. Im glad she didn't press charges. Jeremiah still did it though. He sniffed it more than usual. He would try to make me do it but I would make an excuse. Which he didn't take lightly. He beat me each time I said no. I couldn't stop him mostly because he was on the stuff. He apologizes for it when I tell him what he did.

I closed my robe up. I was tired of looking at my bruises.
I let my tears roll down my face. I hated myself so fucking much. I never ever in my life wanted to prove that lady who is my so called mother right.

My reflection was mocking me.

So I punched the mirror and watched as the glass shattered. Just like my life. The glass fell on my sink counter. I turned around and banged my head against the bathroom wall. I needed to leave. I needed to leave now. I ran out of my bedroom. Not even bothering putting on shoes. I grabbed my keys and I left my house. As I walked towards my car my vision became blurry. I was crying. I wiped my face and hopped in my car.

Putting it in drive. I drove down my driveway. As soon as I passed my gate I picked up speed. I was going 87mph. My heart was racing. I couldn't breathe.
"Whyyyyyy" I took my hands off the wheel and wiped my face. I heard a horn and I swerved to the side. I began to panic trying to get the car under control.

I stepped on the brakes and my car came to a stop. I layed my head back and sighed. I needed to breathe. I needed to relax my mind. Ideas ran through my head. I needed to hit. I shook my head and I peaked out my window. I looked at where I was with a smile and I pressed the gas again.