Squidward's Backstory

Part 1: Squidward's Childhood

Warning: This story contains mention of domestic and sexual abuse, suicide, and murder. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Squidward was an accident. No doubt about that. It was being screamed by his father and mother when she found out she was pregnant, and it was screamed when she was giving birth to him. How traumatizing for a child's first experience to be his mother's words be "I DIDN'T WANT YOU!"

But you may be asking yourself, why would she have him them?

See, it's simple, back then things were different. Sending a child to an adoption on purpose? Extremely taboo. Abortion? Forget about it! Even the mention of that word might wind you up in court.

Nevertheless, Squidward was born into a rather rich family. But his name wasn't Tentacles back then, it was Fancyson. He would later change it, as he was ashamed of his history.

He had a brother and a sister, one of which known as Squilliam, the Squilliam Fancyson that always seems to one-up Squidward. This was the case for Squidward's entire life, as even during his birth, Squilliam was getting more attention than him, from his father especially.

"Father," said Squilliam as Squidward's head crowned. "Why is Mother taking a boom-boom on a bed?"

"Ah, Squilliam," said Mr. Fancyson, "So innocent. Your mother is giving birth to your new little brother!"

"I do not wish to have another sibling, father!" said Squilliam with the look of disappointment upon him.

"Mm, yes, I did not wish for this either." Said Mr. Fancyson. He wasn't even paying attention as his youngest son was having his umbilical chord was being cut. "See son, Squidward was an accident. When a man loves a woman..."

Yes, Squilliam was getting 'the talk' while Squidward was being born.

As for his sister, Squidward rarely saw her in his childhood. Perhaps she had a more tortured past than he, for whenever he had seen her she had tears streaked down her face. Her name, of course, was Squidmelia. Like Squidward, Squidmelia was an accident, and may have been Squidward's closest friend, and certainly his favorite family member. He'd turn to her for advice, friendship, and even just a hug when times were really bad, like whenever their father would come home drunk off his ass and beat their mother and, when he was older, Squidward.

There were seventeen court cases involving the Fancysons, all of which having to do with domestic violence or child abuse. But, as they say, everyone has their price, including the judge (his price was bad for Squidward, too, and this will be explained later).

Squidward and Squidmelia would often times retreat to their treehouse during their father's drunken rage, the fort they called Squid Fort 1, but also their happy place.

Squidward's mother tried to help, but she had to do so in secret. She'd hire therapists, but they were usually beaten up and kicked out whenever the father of the house found out.

Squidward's lack of a good father, constant neglect, and his constant abuse, both emotional and physical, caused him to think he was always at fault.

Whenever Squidward would tell a police officer about his father's recent drunken beatings, his neglect, or even what happened during court, the officers would often times not believe him, or his father would find out and beat him and pay off the officers the same way as he paid off the judges.

Squidward tried on multiple times to escape his Hell of a household, most times trying to bring Squidmelia along with him. All failed.

As for Squilliam, he was pampered and treated extremely well, probably since he was the only Fancyson that was planned to be born. As well as being the eldest child, Squilliam showed the best efforts at school, and would often times try to impress his parents. Even when Squidward caught that faint glimpse of attention, Squilliam snatched it before he could realize. Squidward once won the state wrestling match (mostly in part to making believe his opponents were his father), but his parents were, of course, not there, as Squilliam had a baseball game that very same day. And he didn't even win.

Once Squidward turned ten, he started standing up for himself, his mother, and his sister. Although brave, that little Squiddy was overpowered by his alcoholic father 10 times out of 10, most of the time getting a severe beating because of it.

Perhaps the worst part of Squidward's childhood (besides his constant beatings) was the payment he had to do to pay the judges and police officers.

Back when Squidward was a child, men were not allowed to be gay. They would have to have a wife and children to hide their true selves, leading them to madness. However, there was one escape that almost every man in Squidward's hometown used, and it was, of course, Squidward himself.

They would... do things to him. Before he became ten, Squidward didn't know what these things were, but he still knew it was wrong. It felt wrong. Squidward would resist, but he was just a child, he couldn't defend against a full-grown man, let alone the few times 3 or more ganged up on him!

Squidward feared the same things happened to his sister. Squidmelia wasn't even at home on most weekends. This, along with her constant neglect and abuse, is what caused her to kill herself.

Young Squidward cried hardest that day, as he watched her cold body swing from the ceiling fan. He'd lost his only friend, the only person he could ever trust.

Her suicide note read;

Dear Squidward,
I am sorry I did this. I couldn't take it anymore. They never loved us, Squiddy, and they never will. Tell them I never loved them. Squidward, I want you to take all my stuff, hide it, and run away. Run as far as your tiny legs can take you. Don't care about Squilliam or Mom. They know what Dad does to us, and they don't do anything about.
Run away, Squiddy. Run. Find a better life for yourself. If not for you, for me.

I just couldn't take it anymore...