Nothing to Gain (Watty Awards 2013)

Chapter Twelve: Descend into Madness

Hi everyone, here’s chapter twelve. I’m not sure I like this chapter but it’s necessary for the road ahead so I’m going to post it. I know things are progressing slowly but I’m just setting the stage for what’s to come. I will write the next chapter and post it soon. I really want to finish this story before the end of the summer or at least come close to finishing it. 

IMPORTANT! Today I was reading rejection stories and I noticed a certain theme; most of them were too similar. In one of the stories readers were commenting on the similarities to other rejected mate stories. SO! MY STORY IS COMPLETELY ORIGINAL AND COMES FROM MY IMAGINATION PLEASE DO NOT COPY ANY PART OF IT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. READERS, IF YOU SEE THIS STORY ANYWHERE PLEASE TELL ME!!!

This story is copyright and all right is reserved to me!

Thank you, love you guys!

 Lia

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Primula POV

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“You forgive me?” He stammered in disbelief.

“Yep!” I said popping the ‘P.’ He stared at me with a funny look on his face gorging my facial expression. I erased every emotion and only gaze back at him with a blank expression. He opened and closed his mouth to say something to me but then shut it back. He stood up from the ground and cleaned his tears stain face. I looked away from him staring at the tiny creek we were sitting by getting lost in my thoughts. I could still feel him standing close by still gazing at me. I didn’t know what he was still doing there; I said I forgive him didn’t I? So what the hell was he just standing around looking at me for? Oh, please don’t tell me he didn’t know his way back? Because I was not about to hold his hand and lead him to his ‘perfect family‘, my days of doing anything for them was over.

“I -” I tilted my head to the side waiting for the rest of his sentence but it didn’t come. Words seemed to fail him as he stood above me masked by the now blackened sky.

“Do -” he swallowed. “Do you really mean it?” I sighed and turned towards him. Couldn’t he understand I wanted him gone? I thought if I spat out forgiveness like he spat out his crappy apology then he would finally leave me alone.

“What does it mean to ‘mean it’?" I asked. I gazed at him very interested in his reply. No kidding, I really wanted to know what he would say. Obviously ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t fix anything. I was still the abuse rejected girl with a dead wolf/best friend whose heart was now consumed by hatred. He was still the abusive ex-mate with a soon to be dead pack.

“Well you- I don’t…” He looked away from me and glared at the creek. I waited for him to gather his thoughts. “You have to feel it in your soul. But it’s fine I’m not really expecting you to forgive me so soon.”

“When did you want me to forgive you?” I tried to keep the hate from my voice but it was difficult almost like not breathing. And what the heck did he mean not expecting me to forgive him so soon? I wanted to get it over and be done with. I didn’t want him constantly coming around me spitting out meaningless words.

“I don’t know… gosh! Maybe when you have thought it over?” he said in frustration.

“It doesn’t matter how many years I have thought it over. It could be now or ten thousand years from now and I wouldn’t mean it. Why? It’s simple, because I have no soul!” I said darkly.

It was true; when Primrose died she took my soul with her. It took me awhile but I finally figure out that the emptiness consuming my inside was not only due to what I’ve been through. It was because my soul and the only one who could carry me through the day were dead. And if I did have a soul now it was nothing but a bottomless black pit that consumed everything in its path. This sometimes scares me because I was a completely different person to what Primrose left behind.