Nothing to Gain (Watty Awards 2013)

Chapter Eighteen: Strange

Hi everyone, sorry I didn’t post sooner. I was too busy trying to create a good cover for my book. Finding a safe copyright free image was very difficult. Anyway here’s chapter eighteen. Nineteen will be posted soon. Sorry about the three POV, it was necessary.

Lia

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 Jebidiah POV

 Her wolf is dead! Her wolf is dead! - was the only thing running through my head. The thoughts in my mind were starting to jumble together until nothing made sense. I could feel my wolf trying to reach me but it felt like I was stuck in a haze of nonsensical words that swirled around in my head blocking everything else that may seem sensible. To be honest, this twisted fog clouding my mind felt safe, warm and welcoming.

Sometimes a rational thought would occur to me - telling me that the fog was more dangerous to my brain. But whenever I woke up to the world where my wolf wanted me to be at, everything hurt. Darkness would take over my soul and the feeling of being lost more than ever would increase tenfold. To me, that world was dangerous to my brain. How could it not be? I believe too much self loathing was deteriorating my mind. I needed to get away from the constant pain, emptiness and hopelessness.

Right now my eyes were open as I stared at my hands watching water droplets fall from my eyes. It was all so fascinating. It reminds me of rain which in my opinion is nature at its greatest. Yes, I know science explain why it rains but my warm and fuzzy brain scoff at the idea. How can science explain something as spectacular as rain drop? And how can science explain the frozen white rain call snow? Didn’t scientists understand that rain and snow happens because nature intended it to? And that trying to explain or understand nature was the same as insulting the moon god and goddess?

I opened my palm allowing tears to drop into in. I felt a nagging feeling asking why I was crying in the first place but this thought was soon dismissed. I closed my palm and when I opened it, the tears had dry leaving me feeling sad. See, everything in the other world disappear from me, just like the teardrop in my palm. Sometimes I felt like I was trying to catch rain drop whenever she was around. I felt a sharp pain to my head when I thought about her and the nerve in my brain squeezed, shutting down all the damage that was pushing to the surface. I felt the same warm and comfortable feeling take over. I went back to gazing at the tear drops falling from my eyes and unto my hands in wonder. It was all so beautiful.

“…ay” I felt my shoulder shook and I looked up to see my uncle Arion gazing down at me. I smiled up at him and showed him the teardrops I was collecting in my palm. He smile and I looked back down satisfied of my handy work. I was tired of the tears now so I whipped my face and closed my eyes, humming to myself. I felt at peace-everything around me was soothing and secure. This was my happy please and I had no intention of leaving it.

Dean POV (Cause Jeb is…!)

I slide down the wall staring at the ground with my head bow down. Right now I was feeling like shit. I couldn’t even stand to look at myself. I felt my sister, Krista sat down by me not saying anything. Krista, dad and I seemed to be doing a lot of sitting and saying nothing lately or at least since our treatment of Primula registered in our mind. There was nothing we could do or say that would make anything okay and so we said nothing.

I wish there was someone I could blame – say my father – but he didn’t hold my hand and help me abuse her. Everything we did to her was of our free will and nobody else’s. And perhaps that’s the part that eats me up the most – knowing that our treatment of her was so horrible to the point it created a monster that was threatening to destroy the entire world.