Inner Thoughts

The 27th Day of School

Yes, I counted. 

I count each day of school.

 Not to track how far it is 

until the next break 

but to keep a record of how many days

 I've survived. 

I'm in my long sleeves again, 

even though it's not that cold out. 

I wrap my arms tightly around my sketch book

To the next class,

the next eternity.

 Even though it's noisy and loud around me,

 I still hear the whispers. 

"What is she wearing?-"

"-a slut-"

"-parent's don't even want her-"

"Why is she still here?-"

I squeeze my arms tighter and slow my pace. 

I needed to hear this,

 I'm sure of it. 

The whispers get louder and louder and

 I keep listening.

"That hair-"

"-No one likes her-"

"-ugh, probably hand-me-downs-"

"Slut,"

"Bitch,"

The invisible eyes turn towards me.

 They are shouting.

"Asshole,"

"Hoe,"

They stare into me. The voices are now screaming at me, making my ear drums bleed.

"Whore"

"-should just kill herself-"

I stop dead in my tracks. 

The single voice continues on.

"-bet she wouldn't follow through. Just like last time-"

I rush forward and past my class, into the bathroom. I lock myself in and slide down the door. But as tight as I clamp my eyes and as covered as my ears get, I still hear the voices, the comments, the snickers,  all of it. 

And I believe them too. 

I guess I'm just too horrid to live yet too chicken to die.

**********

The girl rushes past her parents, not that they notice her, and into her room where she cries softly into a pillow. After an hour the girl finds herself staring blankly at a mirror. She sees her reflection and stops. It's beckoning her forward. The girl gets up and goes to her reflection. It motions her to lean in close, so she does, and waits for an answer.

"They were right," The reflection whispers. 

The girl's eyes widen. She grabs the mirror and throws it to the floor before going back to crying in the middle of the glass shards. The parents continue watching the infomercial on the tv.

**********

The noise on the radio crackles as a group of high-schoolers listen to music. A newsflash interrupts the music.

"The missing girl, Tonya Micheals, is found today, hung in an abandoned warehouse downtown. Police and the parents have come to the conclusion that the girl was suicidal ever since the beginning of the school year. Memorials will be hel-"

A high-schooler switches radio stations to get the music going again. It's their favorite song. They sing along to it as they drive down the highway.