Zayns P.O.V
"I need to stop myself from reading these messages over and over" I mumble and chuck my phone at the wall. I listen to the muffle sound of my mobile phone when it first plunks at the wall and then falls on the floor. I don't care if it breaks, nothing really matters anymore. It's 2 AM the window of my small room is wide open and only the chirping of the crickets disturb the silence. I feel a tear running down my cheek and dash it away quickly like i'm scared of somebody watching me crying. "Why do I think about her all the time , she's a bitch, they're all bitches and why my life sucks so much? nothing goes right my life is a whole mess why am I even trying" I rise up from my bed and walk over to the window I lean out and take a deep breath.The air smells warm and clean and I feel soft brease in my hair . A few days ago Melissa broke up with me, she said I'm distracting her from school and her parents don't like me "It's not your fault" she said, I remember how she standed in front of me looking deeply into my eyes acting as she's incredibly sad. I know she wasn't because I am very aware of people lying to me in the face. Since she had her new "bff" Carly she generally changed a lot. She wasn't the like girl I fell for, anymore. Well i don't know if I ever really fell for her but I liked her..I think. Anyway, Melissa began to hang out with Carly and her Clique, she didn't cared about me that much and I always got the feeling she wanted me to hide from her new 'friends'. I'm not 'cool' and popular enough to hang out together with them. thats the real reason why she broke up. Or maybe she just was bored with me, I know I'm not the boyfriend type girls dream about. it's just I'm not very lucky in terms of relation ships..Whatever, After the happenings last year at my old highschool I just try to be kinda inconspicuous, nobody should know about my past... anyway some kids say I'd be dangerous some others say I'm just boring. actually I have a few friends as I said I'm not an outcast. I can be a very nice person, its just hard for me open up for people. Nobody really knows about me and thats why they call me the mysterious boy and thats also why Melissas popular friends don't like me. I honestly really hate me for being me. my past runied everything I really wish I could be a different person and I tried my best but thats who I am, thats me.' I turn around and take out a black Vans backback which was hidden under my bed for almost 1 year I can feel the cold spray bottles and the memories resurface, a strange feeling comes up inside me and without really thinking about it I take out a lighter and a box of Camel Blue. Then I walk back to my window and emerge a cigarette with my lips out of the box. The yellow light of the lighter shines so bright, the night is darker than usual but the sky is clear. I turn my head up and watch up to the millions of shining stars while I push the pale, grayish smoke out of my mouth. I swing the backback over the shoulder and jump out of the window. As our flat is ground floor flat, it's a cinch. I hesiate a second, something inside me is trying to stop me but I ignore it and climb over the garden fence. Outside, I'm gettin confidenter and begin to head downtown pushing some last smoke out, before throwing the stub into the bushes, the spray bottles in my bag rattle and I notice my lips turning into a dirty smile 'Zayns back, baby'
Liams P.O.V
"Pepper come here" the brown Border Collie is my everything. Tail wagging he runs over to me and throws himself on the floor trying to tell me that he wants to play."Not now" I stretch my hand out and fondle his neck then I pick up a grey T-shirt from the Floor pull it over, take The dog lead and head to the front door. Pepper notices that I want to leave and runs after me. Quietly I Close the door behind me pull in the ear ins of my iPod and start running. It's chilly, naut fog hangs over the roofs of the small and sleepy town. I hope the new school is better than the last one..I'm tired of changing schools. My dad owns a lot of houses here in England he loves his job and thats okay but since he got this new job offer we moved 2 times in 1 year and he can't explain me why. i finished Junior High in my home town and then we moved. At this time I had a girlfriend, Sabrina. We tried to have a long-distance relation ship but in my first year on high school in Bristol I met Marc. A girl never made me feel this way, I'm honestly extremely confused about my sexuality. I don't want to be gay. Gays get bullied. I experienced it in the second period of my first high school year where we moved to Harrow, it was awful. my best school mate was gay and he came out one day and I was absolutely proud of him and admired his courage but since then he had to go through hell..and In the end he..I shake. I promised myself to never think or talk about this again. anyway, I don't want to be gay or even bisexual I want to fuck and love girls. But Marc..ugh, I force myself to concentrate on my run I almost finished it. Pepper seems tired so we start walking a little, my thoughts drift to Marc again as I notice a huge graffiti on our house wall. The graffiti is black and white little Drawings connected together and in the middle something like a red cloud or a flower idk. My parents said its a "nice and peaceful town" my ass ha-ha! Dad will completely freak out. It's better if he finds this out it by himself...I think. Pepper bays and I look down on my watch "Huh, pepper lets go it's almost 7, I don't want to be late for my 1 school day, do I?"
