That Boy Is My Monster

Complicated

We arrived at Billy's house that night. Slowly people began to gather, kids from all different classes. Most of them were friends of Stu's, people I never interacted with. They all seemed to love Billy though. Sidney then arrived with Tatum. Tatum was still quiet. She wasn't wearing her usual bright clothes. She instead was wearing a pair of jeans and a jumper, more like something Sidney would wear. She had a soft smile across her face and began saying hello to people quietly. Sidney on the other hand was happy. She ran straight up to Billy and flung herself in his arms. It made my skin crawl. I was shaking. She kissed him hard on the lips and he retaliated. It made me want to throw myself at her then and there. She then made her way to me.

"Ashley!" she smiled.

"Sidney, hey!" I faked a smile. She gave me a hug. I looked at Billy and he gave me a sly look and turned away quickly.

"I had no idea you'd be invited," she said. "I didn't know you were a friend of Stu's?" she added.

"I'm kind of here for moral support. Randy was a friend of Stu's because he was frequently at the movie store and he's coming tonight. And not to mention it's just an excuse to watch a bunch of horror movies and you know I love a good horror marathon," I replied. Part of that was true and part of it was also a lie. Randy hated Stu completely.

"Oh well nice of you to come," she said continuing to smile. I wanted to punch her in the face.

I sat down on the couch alone. Billy offered me a drink and I declined. I was just waiting for Randy to arrive. Until he did, I was going to be sitting alone. Randy was responsible for bringing the movies we were watching too, so there was nothing we could watch until he came along. Half an hour passed and I was just sitting there, watching everyone. Sidney was sitting in Billy's lap, grasping him tightly. Tatum was sitting next to them; she seemed to return to her natural self more when she was around her friends. I liked to observe people so I kept watching. It surprised me just how stupid and boring half the people at this party were. They had no interesting conversations and they just sat around drinking all night.

Randy finally arrived. He made his way straight to me and said hello to people on the way. Billy saw Randy sit next to me and he leapt from the couch to greet him.

"Glad you could make it, Randy," he said patting him on the back.

Randy smiled and looked at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Did you bring the movies?" Billy asked.

"Of course," he reached into his bag and pulled out a bunch of films. "Uhhh, let's see... we got Halloween, Evil Dead, Prom Night, Silence Of The Lambs, Carrie...."

"Carrie!" Billy shouted. "It was one of Stu's favorites."

"Carrie it is," Randy smiled and went to put the movie on. It took everyone a good twenty minutes to calm down and actually sit and watch the movie. Couples wouldn't stop making out, a lot of the boys were being loud and drinking. I just wanted to watch the film. It kills me when people don't actually appreciate a horror film in all its glory. It's so bothering. I sat huddled next to Randy and Sidney was with Billy. I kept my eye on them a lot. She just cuddled into his chest and occasionally kissed him softly. At one point, she left the couch and went up stairs. He followed her up there. What were they doing? Apart from the fact that they were alone, they had just been seen making out on the couch. This could mean they were only going up there to do one thing and this really made me angry. I became a little flustered and my heart was pounding hard. I don't know whether it was me being jealous or me being angry. It was probably a bit of both. Randy felt my legs start to shake.

"Ashley, what's wrong?" he whispered.

"Nothing... I..." I lied.

"Where are Billy and Sidney?" he looked around me.

"They went upstairs."

"And Tatum? She's not here either?" he didn't register what I said about Billy and Sidney. "Wait. Hold on. They went upstairs?" he looked confused. "..Oh," it hit him. "That's what's bothering you, isn't it?"

"Maybe."

"I still don't understand this little thing you got going on with him. He's in a relationship with Sidney."

"It's more complicated than that, Randy."

"Well, it's a little too complicated if you ask me. He's up to no good. Why do you trust him?"

"Can you geeks shut up?" one of Stu's friends shouted at us. Well at least he was paying attention to the movie.

Randy got up and left the room. We ended up in Billy's kitchen.

"You see? That's all we are ever going to be to them! A bunch of geeks!" he was furious. "He's using you. Can't you see it?"

"He's not like the others."

"He is one of them. I thought he could be nice. I trusted your judgment. I thought he liked you. But now that I think about it, he's not right. Why else would he have you wrapped around his finger like that? I tried to play nice but I can't stand watching you be so blind. He is up there with another girl. You're telling me you're okay with this?" he stared at me.

I didn't answer him. I folded my arms and looked away.

"You're okay with that, Ashley? I've known you for a really long time. And the girl that I know would never be okay with that. But maybe I don't know who you are anymore," he said boldly.

"If it's bothering you this much, maybe we just shouldn't hang out anymore. If you can't accept the feelings I have Billy, what kind of a friend are you?"

"I'm the kind of friend who can't stand seeing the girl I love being abused and pushed around. Sorry for caring."

And there it was. He finally admitted something he'd only hinted about for years. I knew he had a crush on me, but he never had the guts to say it. It only took me wanting to be with someone else for him to finally open up.

"But if you'd rather that douche upstairs, the one having sex with another girl, the one that wants to hide you from the world, then be my guest. But don't come crawling back to me when he tosses you in the trash."

That was the end of the conversation. Randy left the kitchen and went straight to the front door. A tear fell down my face. I wasn't crying over Billy upstairs, I was crying over Randy leaving me. The sad part is, he doesn't know the truth. He doesn't know I am exactly like Billy. He doesn't know Billy and I have secrets, we have something in common. We get each other almost more than Randy and I get each other. We crave each other. Randy was right on a lot of things, actually he was right on everything. But this one time, he was completely and utterly wrong.

"Ashley? You're Ashley right?" said a girl from the party as she came huffing into the kitchen.

"Ah yeah. That's me."

"Tatum's dead!" she shouted.