Catching Feelings | Bwwm

20 | Nala

"You two look good together."
I lift my head, turning my attention away from the merch table to see Vanessa.
It's the third Rising Star meeting and as an official couple, Carsen and I walked in hand-in-hand in true cheesey fashion, and I couldn't care less.
I'm proud to have him at my side. Not because he's one of the biggest celebrities of my generation, or because he's rich and successful. But because he's the most caring, big-hearted, beautiful guy I've ever known.
     I smile in response, not really believing myself that we're dating. No more games. No more playing hard to get. Carsen West is my boyfriend.
     "Thank you." I tell Vanessa.
    "Took you guys long enough." She adds.
     "Yeah, I know." I giggle. "We don't plan on wasting any more time."
     "Hey pretty girl." I hear Carsen before I feel a kiss on the side of my neck. His arms wrap around my waist moments later.
     "Hi pop star."
     "You got anything good for me?" Carsen asks, and I pick up a black beanie with the words Rising Star printed in yellow font on the front. I place it on his head, tucking it down enough that it brushes his ears. "How do I look?"
     "Ugh, you know I'd just die for you in a beanie, West." I tell him.
     "Aww curls, you're too sweet." Carsen pecks my lips.
     "Stop. You guys are literally the cutest." Vanessa says which makes me smile.
     "I gotta go introduce the first speaker. Save me a seat." Carsen tells me.
     "I'll think about it." I reply before I take Vanessa's hand and bring her over to the front row of the auditorium.
     The noise level isn't as crazy like when we first started Rising Star. The buzzing excitement, the whispered chatters and the cameras were still there, but there's a level of respect now that they've been around Carsen and the other celebrities and know that they're not so untouchable like they thought.
     Carsen steps up behind the podium, ensuing a roar of excited screams to follow. He smiles, still grateful for the reaction that he gets after all these years.
     "I'm really not worthy for this praise guys," Carsen says which makes everyone scream louder. "Music as I've said before, has helped us get through some of the toughest time in our lives, so today I'm going to open up the floor and let you guys share how music has helped you. Remember this is a safe place for everyone and everything."
     Carsen steps down the podium and immediately takes up his seat next to mine. For a minute or two the students in the audience just look at one another, trying to see who would be brave enough to share their story first. It felt like no one was going to step up to the plate until finally a young girl stands and approaches the podium.
She's pretty with her long wavy black hair, slender body, light tan complexion and a cute nose ring pierces her right nostril.
"Hey guys," she clears her throat. "First, I'd like to say Carsen I love you and I support this," she motions towards Carsen and I entwined fingers. "And no hate will be tolerated towards Nala." She warns everyone and I can't help but smile.
I like her.
"Anyways, I'm Liyah, I'm seventeen and I've been listening to Carsen since I was seven years old. And music really is a special and beautiful thing. It doesn't matter who the artist is or what the genre is- it has a way of just taking you into another world and making you forget all your problems. For me, the person who did that was Carsen. From the moment I heard his first single, I became a fan. I wish I could tell you there's a lyric that resonated with me but I can't. It's Carsen's voice. He's so crazy talented and whenever I listen to him sing, the world just melts away and nothing else matters. It's times when I'm listening to his music where I forget that I'm the lesbian that my parents are ashamed of." She looks directly at Carsen. "If it wasn't for your music Carsen and the way that you love your fans, I wouldn't be here today. So thank you." She awkwardly bows and I didn't realize Carsen got up until I see him jogging up the stage to the podium and brining Liyah into a hug.
     More people started to come up, every one of them sharing a similar story of how Carsen or another artist inspired them or helped them through a rough time in their life such as bullying, sexual or physical abuse or parents going through a divorce.
     Emotions are high in the air when Carsen comes to stand in front of the mic. "First, I'd like to thank everyone who said my music has helped them through some difficult times in their lives. I used to feel so much pressure when a fan would come up to me and tell me that I saved their lives, but now I'm just so grateful that God has and is using me to speak to you." There's a round of applause. "How many of you really know my story?"He pauses when he gets another round of screams. "Well for those of you who don't know, I was born and raised in a small town. My parents were teenagers when they had me. My mom was barely eighteen. My parents broke up around the time I was one and my dad wasn't really in the picture until I got signed," there's a bitterness in his voice that tugs at my heart strings. "Growing up without a dad made me feel like I wasn't good enough, made me think there was something wrong with me and that's why he didn't want to be a family. No one wants to have those questions or feel that way- at least I didn't. So I turned to drugs at a young age, started acting out in school and the one thing that would make me feel not alone and center me was music. My mom used to play old r&b around the house; I used to listen to Tupac and Aretha Franklin and Michael Jackson. Seeing their stage presence, hearing their powerful vocals and relatable lyrics and taking all that in- I decided that I wanted to do that. I wanted to use my talent to help others and make others happy and if I did that with one person than I accomplished what I set out to do..." Carsen pauses. "So here I am, nine years after getting signed telling you don't stop, keep grinding, and remember music is-"
"POWER!" The audience finished for him.
"Hell yeah it is." Carsen smiles.